When the Dream Becomes a Trap, Dina Cataldo, be a better lawyer podcast, how to be a better lawyer, would I leave the law

#232: When the Dream Becomes a Trap

Imagine this:

You’re living the dream you used to have.

You own your own firm.

You’ve made partner.

Or you became a lawyer like you’d planned, and you feel trapped.

It feels really big and impossible to get out of.

People rely on you.

You’ve invested a lot of time, money and tears in your dream.

You built exactly what you’d planned to build.

You just thought you’d feel differently when you had it.

Each morning you wake up and dread going to work.

You want out, but you can’t see a path.

Maybe you do see a path, but when you think about it, you freeze up.

It feels like you're trapped.

Listen in to begin breaking free.

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When you feel trapped in an old dream

Imagine this:

You’re living the dream you used to have.

You own your own firm.

You’ve made partner.

Or you became a lawyer like you’d planned, and you feel trapped.

It feels really big and impossible to get out of.

People rely on you.

You’ve invested a lot of time, money and tears in your dream.

You built exactly what you’d planned to build. 

You just thought you’d feel differently when you had it.

Each morning you wake up and dread going to work.

You want out, but you can’t see a path.

Maybe you do see a path, but when you think about it, you freeze up.

You think to yourself:

“What would people think if I changed course?”

“Would they think I”m not as successful?”

“Would they think I’m throwing my life away?”

“Would they think I’m a moron for doing this?”

After all, right now you’re respected and people think you’re successful.

You have a reputation as a hard worker. As someone who can be depended upon.

What they don’t see is that there’s a little part of you that’s dying every day you ignore the voice calling to you to leave, to do something different, to make a change.

I want to offer to you that ignoring how you feel right now will lead to regrets in the years to come.

In the years ahead when you look back and wonder,

“What if I didn’t care about what people thought about me?”

“What if I had explored my options?”

“What would have my life had looked like if I went after what I really wanted?”

“What if I didn’t let how much money I’d invested in law school hold me back?”

“What if I decided I was going to invest in what I wanted back then just like I invested in law school?”

We’re taught that our brains are reflect reality.

We say to ourselves, “I think that person is a jerk;” therefore, they’re a jerk. Period.

I bet you not everyone thinks that person is a jerk.

Their mom probably doesn’t.

Their friends definitely don’t.

This person you think is a jerk is most likely different with different people and in different situations.

We know a thought is not reality if multiple different people can have different thoughts about the same thing or person.

Let’s bring this example into what people may think of you if you decided to change course in your life.

Our brain tells us people will think we’re not successful, and we believe that’s true.

If our thoughts aren’t reality, what is? 

It’s what we choose to believe.

The question is are you willing to question your thoughts, or are you going to let your brain bully you into trapping yourself?

Let’s say it’s 100% true that people you look up to will think you’re not successful?

Let’s face it, you don’t care about what everyone thinks. You just care about the people who you look up to and want validation from.

What if it is?

So what?

Answer this question for yourself.

What will you make it mean about yourself that you don’t fit into their box of what it means to be successful?

That you’re not good enough?

That you’re not successful enough?

That you should be different?

That you haven’t proven yourself?

Just because someone thinks something about you doesn’t mean it’s true.

We’ve already established that thoughts are only true if we decide they’re true.

What if the people you look up to    think success means owning a Subaru and living in the woods, is that now going to be your idea of success? 

What if the people you look up to    think success means working 24/7, is that now going to be your idea of success?

Maybe. Or maybe your belief about what success means and how other people live their lives and believe success means have nothing to do with one another.

Does your reputation as a hard worker change?. As someone who can be depended upon change?

If you think it does, why?

Is it because of what you think other people think.

When I asked these questions of myself, that’s when things shifted for me.

That’s when I was able to do the things that changed my life the most dramatically.

I want to invite you to re-listen to this podcast when you have pen and paper and answer the questions I posed.

Read through your answers.

Do you like them?

Do you want to keep those thoughts?

If you’re ready to stop feeling trapped, book a call with me.

I’ve been where you are.

I’ve believed all the same thoughts.

I had to challenge all those same thoughts to be different while I was a lawyer and pave my own path. A path where I could be happy as a lawyer, but I decided I didn’t want to be. Then I decided to do something completely different.

You can choose your path too.

You’re not trapped.

The trap is an illusion.

It’s an illusion you can choose to break free from.

I can help you.

Alright my friend. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week.

Bye.

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