If you feel like you’re constantly working with no time left for yourself or the life you want outside the law, this episode is for you.
You can have a thriving law practice and a life that feels like yours again.
In this episode, I share parts of my story — and Michelle’s. She’s one of many lawyers who’ve gone through Time Peace for Lawyers™ and come out on the other side feeling more like herself.
Not only did Michelle reconnect with her husband and start cooking nourishing meals again — she also noticed her work product improved.
Getting back to yourself doesn’t mean sacrificing your income or the quality of your work. It means practicing law in a way that’s sustainable, clear, and aligned with who you are.
Enrollment for Time Peace for Lawyers™ closes soon.
If you’re ready to stop overworking and start feeling like you again, click here for more details.
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Read Transcript
Read this episode: Be yourself Again
(0:04)
Hi, I'm Dena Cataldo, a master coach and ex-criminal prosecutor.
(0:09)
I created Be A Better Lawyer podcast for driven lawyers like you who want more from life than
(0:14)
sitting behind a desk.
(0:15)
You've been playing by other people's rules.
(0:18)
Those rules have left you overwhelmed, unfulfilled, and feeling like a hamster on a wheel.
(0:22)
I've been there.
(0:23)
I was doing everything people told me to do to be successful, working late nights, weekends,
(0:28)
and trying to make everyone happy.
(0:30)
So why wasn't I happy?
(0:31)
And I wanted more in life.
(0:33)
When was I going to find time to find and pursue that?
(0:37)
Well, I did.
(0:37)
And I'm sharing with you my secrets to living a happier and more fulfilling life.
(0:41)
This podcast gives you a lifetime of wisdom, mindset principles, and bedrock strategies
(0:46)
to give you unshakable confidence, more time to pursue your goals, a powerful sense of
(0:52)
purpose to up-level your life in law practice, and so much more.
(0:56)
These are things we were never taught in law school.
(0:58)
This podcast bridges the gap between the two.
(1:04)
Hello, how are you doing today?
(1:11)
I have the privilege of sitting outside in my backyard.
(1:16)
Right now I'm still living in Sacramento.
(1:18)
I haven't moved to Sedona yet.
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I know I've had a lot of people asking me if I've moved to Sedona, not until July 1st.
(1:25)
So I have some time here in my home, enjoying my backyard and the birds and the sun and
(1:32)
all of the spring flowers are in bloom.
(1:34)
I've got peonies growing, they're these poofy pink flowers, and I have roses and these beautiful
(1:43)
purple flowers and lavender and it's just amazing out here.
(1:47)
I am definitely going to miss this beautiful place and, you know, being able to walk around
(1:55)
in my beautiful neighborhood and bumping into people and, you know, I will have new experiences.
(2:00)
That's just the beautiful part of life is changing experiences and expanding our capabilities
(2:08)
is also expanding our ability to go do other things and see new places.
(2:15)
I'm hearing this little tapping behind me and it's my little cat Rocco who is apparently
(2:20)
upset that I have not left the door open, so let me do that for him.
(2:28)
But I am excited about this move.
(2:31)
It's something that I've wanted for a long time and I set my intention to put one foot
(2:39)
in front of the other and kept moving through all of the things my brain wanted to tell
(2:44)
me like I couldn't do it or it was too hard and all of the things that our brain naturally
(2:50)
does when we put something new in front of us.
(2:54)
But when we really want something, it's important, I believe, to follow it no matter what barriers
(3:02)
our brain puts up to it because if we don't, we're always going to have regrets.
(3:07)
We're always going to wonder what if and I don't want to live that way.
(3:12)
So that is the state of my living space right now.
(3:19)
Today I want to talk to you about getting back to yourself.
(3:23)
This was something that came up in a conversation I had with a lawyer the other day who went
(3:29)
through my timepiece program and if you don't already know, my timepiece for lawyers program
(3:34)
is currently open for enrollment but we're closing the door soon and I really don't want
(3:40)
you to miss out on this opportunity because it is absolutely life altering when you enter
(3:47)
the program and you start applying what we start talking about every single week just
(3:51)
a little bit at a time to your life.
(3:54)
So I was talking to Michelle and she said something that really struck me which was
(4:01)
going through timepiece really helped her get back to being herself, to feeling more
(4:09)
like her.
(4:11)
And I think as lawyers, it's really easy to get consumed by the work and to put ourselves
(4:18)
wholeheartedly into the work which we love, right?
(4:22)
We love the work, we love feeling productive, we love doing things that make an impact in
(4:27)
the world but we do that oftentimes at our own expense and many times we're doing that,
(4:34)
we're jumping into the work to prove something to other people that we don't believe about
(4:39)
ourselves already, how capable we are, how good we are at our job and getting back to
(4:46)
ourself to me really means regaining that self-confidence, that belief in ourselves
(4:54)
that we truly are capable of anything including having a life and that's something that was
(5:04)
really important to Michelle is coming into timepiece knowing having the intent that
(5:09)
she wanted to have her personal life back.
(5:13)
Specifically, she wanted to spend time with her husband, she wanted to cook meals again,
(5:19)
she wanted to have hobbies again and she discovered that everything that she wanted was possible
(5:26)
when she put herself in the right room and the right space to do that and timepiece was
(5:32)
the right space for her.
(5:33)
It was a space where she could not just learn the skills but understand the mindset and
(5:40)
she was telling me about the mindset foundations training that I have inside of timepiece and
(5:47)
she said that was really impactful to her because when she understood how her mind worked,
(5:54)
she realized that the feelings she was experiencing, the anxiety, the stress, the overwhelm, feeling
(6:01)
like she was a hamster on a wheel, all of the things that you may be experiencing right
(6:06)
now that they didn't mean that she was a bad lawyer or that she wasn't capable or that
(6:14)
she wasn't working hard enough.
(6:17)
All it meant was that she didn't have, she wasn't given the skills that she needed to
(6:24)
manage her time within the legal profession, to manage her mind within the legal profession
(6:28)
because the law is, it asks a lot of us, right?
(6:35)
It asks us to be our best versions of ourselves but when we don't have those foundational mindset
(6:42)
skills, when we don't have the understanding of how our mind is structured, of how our
(6:50)
subconscious works, how we and why we do the things that we do in our law practice, it
(6:57)
makes it seem as if we're not as good as we think we should be, right?
(7:05)
Like we constantly judge ourselves, compare ourselves, believe that we should be better
(7:10)
and when we are judging ourselves like that, then it makes it nearly impossible to improve
(7:18)
and it definitely makes it impossible to have a life on top of being in a legal profession.
(7:23)
If you're beating yourself up, then all you're doing is really pushing yourself to work harder
(7:32)
when your brain is saying there's something off here, there's something you need to take
(7:36)
a closer look at and that's something that I discovered over the years with having cancer
(7:42)
diagnoses is it wasn't a judgment on me but it was a signal that I needed to take a closer
(7:49)
look at something.
(7:50)
How was I managing my health?
(7:51)
How was I managing what I was eating?
(7:54)
All of those kinds of things.
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What kind of stressors was I putting on my body?
(7:59)
And the feelings that you have in your body are the same thing.
(8:02)
So if you have any feelings of anxiety, if you have any feelings of stress or overwhelm,
(8:09)
it doesn't mean you're a bad attorney.
(8:10)
It doesn't mean that there's something wrong which I actually believe too.
(8:15)
So when Michelle told me these things, I totally understood her because I had those
(8:21)
same beliefs about myself when I was a lawyer.
(8:24)
And hey, why am I not feeling more relaxed?
(8:27)
Why am I not feeling more confident?
(8:29)
Why am I not getting the work done that I think I should be getting done?
(8:32)
Well, it must mean something about me and my capabilities.
(8:36)
When I discovered that, it simply wasn't true.
(8:38)
It had to really do with the fundamentals that I didn't have because frankly, they're
(8:46)
not given to us.
(8:47)
And so I created Timepiece for Lawyers to really give lawyers those fundamental understandings
(8:53)
and also give them a playbook to give them the blueprint for moving in the direction
(9:00)
that they want to go without judging themselves, without beating themselves up, without telling
(9:06)
themselves that they should be better.
(9:10)
So instead, what they're doing is simply learning the skills and then applying them.
(9:17)
Sometimes lawyers will tell me that they're afraid they're not going to implement tools.
(9:21)
They're afraid that they're going to do something like join a program or get a course
(9:28)
or whatever it is, and they're afraid that they're not going to do the work.
(9:33)
They're not going to set aside time to do the work.
(9:34)
Quite frankly, if you join anything, I want it to be with the intent that you get something
(9:42)
out of it.
(9:44)
And when you have that intent, then simply showing up for yourself.
(9:48)
For example, in the weekly calls, right?
(9:50)
We have weekly calls that are part of Timepiece.
(9:52)
It's a 16-week program.
(9:54)
And so I've got 16 calls where you can show up, good, bad, and the ugly, and we take
(10:02)
a look at what's going on.
(10:03)
Where might you be having difficulty implementing?
(10:06)
Where are you having wins?
(10:09)
Where are the things that you want to improve?
(10:11)
How can we make those adjustments so that you can change habits, so that you can create
(10:17)
a lifestyle that you want to have, so that you can have a lifestyle where you get to
(10:22)
go home when you want to go home, where you have a lifestyle where you can say,
(10:27)
Okay, look, I am going to tell myself I have done enough work at this time if I've completed
(10:36)
these particular assignments.
(10:38)
And that's what we do.
(10:40)
And they give you all the tools to do it.
(10:42)
The first thing I give you, well, the first thing I give you is access to the library.
(10:47)
And the library inside of Timepiece is designed to give you exactly when you need, what you
(10:52)
need, and to help you direct your attention within that library.
(10:59)
So I have the Timepiece roadmap, which breaks down each of those 16 weeks.
(11:05)
I give you suggestions about what you might want to focus your attention on.
(11:09)
I give you a checklist in terms of, okay, this is the ideal.
(11:14)
If you can do these things, this is going to give you the maximum benefit.
(11:18)
And that is designed to really help you focus your mind, not get into overwhelm,
(11:25)
and to have a place where you can come to when your brain says,
(11:31)
What do I do next?
(11:32)
What should I be doing right now?
(11:34)
And you have a checklist right there for you.
(11:36)
It's very simple.
(11:37)
It's laid out.
(11:38)
I also have my calendar checklist.
(11:42)
So every time you create a schedule, and I'm going to show you how to do this.
(11:46)
We talk about planning.
(11:48)
You're going to get examples of lawyers who have gone through planning,
(11:54)
and you're going to see exactly how they did it,
(11:55)
and you're going to see something that's really amazing,
(11:58)
that there's no exact science to it,
(12:02)
that you are the biggest.
(12:06)
It's like an art, right?
(12:07)
So you're the biggest contributor to this art.
(12:10)
You get to decide how you want to structure your calendar.
(12:15)
And what lawyers have told me is that I've never felt so free as when I had a calendar.
(12:21)
I had no idea that a calendar could give me freedom.
(12:24)
I always thought it was going to be something that was going to tie me down
(12:28)
and that was going to feel really hard when I got those last-minute assignments,
(12:32)
and I'm just going to feel really bad about myself if I couldn't do it
(12:35)
because I have these last-minute assignments.
(12:37)
That's just a reality of my profession.
(12:39)
And what they recognized is that having that calendar gave them the freedom to make choices,
(12:46)
to delegate, choices to decline projects, choices to move projects out,
(12:53)
choices to communicate with clients and let them know realistic timelines
(12:57)
for when they could have work done.
(12:59)
And it just gave them so much freedom to say yes and to say no
(13:05)
and to create time in their schedule.
(13:09)
Because what we often do, and what I've seen lawyers do a lot,
(13:13)
is you'll have an idea, just a vague idea of what you can accomplish during a week,
(13:19)
and then a client will call you and ask you for something.
(13:22)
And without even thinking, you'll say,
(13:24)
Yeah, sure, I can have that to you this week.
(13:26)
Yeah, sure, I can have that to you next week.
(13:28)
But you don't have a plan in place, so you can't actually look at anything
(13:34)
and judge whether or not that's a realistic plan for you.
(13:41)
And so then we end up pushing out our life
(13:45)
so that we can push in this last-minute client work that doesn't have to be last-minute.
(13:50)
It could have been something totally avoidable
(13:52)
if you could have communicated a more realistic timeline.
(13:56)
But instead, you're missing dinner with your spouse
(13:59)
or you're staying up late with the laptop, sitting up in bed,
(14:03)
worrying that you're not going to have everything done the next day.
(14:06)
And that's no fun.
(14:08)
That's not getting back to you.
(14:11)
And getting back to you is going to look different for you
(14:16)
than it did for Michelle, and it looked for myself,
(14:20)
because you're going to have different preferences.
(14:22)
And what I've noticed also with lawyers is that they've forgotten their preferences
(14:27)
because they've been in the work so long that they've disconnected with those preferences.
(14:32)
All they've been able to make space for in their life is the work.
(14:36)
They haven't been able to make space for themselves.
(14:38)
So they've forgotten what really interests them.
(14:41)
Or they don't even have any interests anymore
(14:45)
because they've spent so much time in the office.
(14:49)
Now all that interests them is case briefs and finishing up work
(14:53)
and getting that sense of accomplishment
(14:55)
because that's the only dopamine hit that they are familiar with.
(15:00)
So coming back to you is reconnecting with you on a deep level.
(15:06)
And that was something Michelle also mentioned,
(15:08)
was that she really connected with herself on a deeper level.
(15:13)
And for her, that meant discovering what she wanted and then making it happen
(15:19)
and understanding how she was talking to herself
(15:24)
and how she was creating the life that she had
(15:29)
and how she had the ability, how she generated the capability
(15:34)
to change her life by joining Time Piece
(15:37)
and learning the skills she learned inside that program, my program.
(15:41)
And for me, that looked like discovering that I really like flowers.
(15:49)
I really like being outside.
(15:50)
And I love the gardening, but even more than the gardening,
(15:56)
I just enjoy sitting out here enjoying the beauty of a yard, right?
(16:02)
Enjoying the beauty of the outdoors.
(16:04)
But that's not something that I ever connected with
(16:07)
when I was fully in my legal practice, right?
(16:11)
When I was fully in it, I was discovering that I really enjoyed yoga.
(16:16)
I was discovering that I really enjoyed business.
(16:20)
I had no idea that I enjoyed business so much and creativity
(16:23)
and creating podcasts and getting to talk to new people
(16:27)
and help them with time management, right?
(16:29)
I really needed to discover those things.
(16:32)
Those were things that I didn't even know were a part of me
(16:36)
until I started to make time for them.
(16:40)
And maybe for you, you feel this calling to creativity.
(16:45)
You feel this calling for something more,
(16:47)
but you don't even have time to explore it
(16:49)
because you're so bogged down in the casework.
(16:52)
You're so worried about making money in your practice
(16:55)
or getting your billable hours in,
(16:57)
and you don't really have a systematized process for doing that
(17:00)
or thinking about your time.
(17:02)
So what happens is that your day just seems like it's constant work all the time.
(17:11)
You feel like you're busy all the time.
(17:13)
And if you feel busy all the time,
(17:14)
then there's something that you need to look out there.
(17:17)
That's a signal.
(17:19)
Remember I was saying earlier in this episode,
(17:22)
when you feel anxiety or pressure or overwhelmed,
(17:24)
that's a signal to take a closer look at something?
(17:26)
Same thing if you're feeling busy all the time.
(17:29)
That's a signal to take a closer look at something.
(17:33)
Something needs to change that you need to slow down
(17:35)
and you need to take a look at what are your habits?
(17:39)
What are you creating in your life?
(17:43)
Are you creating a life that you're proud of?
(17:46)
One where if you died tomorrow, you could say,
(17:49)
yes, I lived the life I wanted to live.
(17:51)
I can honestly tell you right now that I am living the life that I want to live.
(17:57)
And if I died tomorrow, while I don't want to do that
(18:00)
because I love living, it is fabulous,
(18:03)
I could say, you know what?
(18:04)
I did this on my terms.
(18:06)
I did exactly what I wanted to do.
(18:08)
And I kept moving forward in the direction I wanted to go.
(18:12)
And honestly, I think that is the biggest thing I could say
(18:17)
is when I connected back to myself
(18:19)
and I realized this is what I wanted
(18:22)
and I was honest with myself and I moved myself in that direction
(18:25)
over and over and over again,
(18:26)
that I never felt prouder of myself.
(18:29)
And that's what I want to be able to say when that time does come
(18:33)
is that I'm really proud of what I created
(18:35)
and what I attempted to create with my life.
(18:39)
And if you haven't asked yourself that in a while,
(18:42)
I want to offer that you ask yourself that.
(18:45)
Would you, if you died tomorrow,
(18:47)
would you feel really proud of the person that you've become?
(18:50)
Would you feel really proud of where you spent your time?
(18:54)
Of how you managed yourself?
(18:56)
Of how you communicated with people?
(18:58)
Of who you decided to spend your time with?
(19:01)
If you could say yes to all of those things,
(19:04)
absolutely fabulous, right?
(19:06)
I want that for you.
(19:08)
But if you have any doubts,
(19:10)
if you have any doubts about that,
(19:12)
if there's something you've been wanting to do,
(19:14)
writing a book or running a marathon
(19:18)
or doing something that sounds totally wild,
(19:21)
like moving to Sedona,
(19:24)
like just doing something absolutely wild
(19:28)
and you're not doing it,
(19:31)
are you telling yourself it's because you don't have enough time?
(19:34)
Are you telling yourself it's because you just are too busy?
(19:38)
And if you are,
(19:40)
I want to invite you to Timepiece for Lawyers.
(19:43)
Because when you join Timepiece,
(19:46)
you're going to get more connected to yourself.
(19:49)
You're going to get back to being you.
(19:52)
You're going to become more you.
(19:54)
You're going to remember what it was like to feel alive
(19:59)
and not like a worker bee,
(20:02)
constantly buzzing,
(20:04)
constantly running from case to case,
(20:07)
constantly dealing with client demands.
(20:10)
You're going to become more of the person you want to become.
(20:14)
I was talking to…
(20:16)
You can go on to the Timepiece website.
(20:19)
If you go to dinacataldo.com forward slash Timepiece,
(20:21)
I've got video testimonials from a few of the lawyers
(20:26)
who've gone through it.
(20:27)
They all say the same thing,
(20:30)
is that they're able to do things that they weren't before.
(20:33)
That they enjoy their lives in ways that they weren't able to before.
(20:38)
And that it didn't mean that they were sacrificing their legal career.
(20:42)
It didn't mean that they were going to
(20:44)
suddenly not get as many billable hours done.
(20:47)
It didn't mean that they were going to be less productive.
(20:49)
It actually meant they were becoming more productive.
(20:51)
That they became better lawyers.
(20:53)
That their attention to detail was better
(20:55)
because they were more focused.
(20:56)
They were more attentive.
(20:59)
And I think sometimes we might think
(21:02)
that if we're going to have a life,
(21:04)
that somehow we've got to sacrifice our success.
(21:08)
We've got to sacrifice our capability to thrive in the legal profession.
(21:13)
And that's simply not true.
(21:15)
Getting back to ourselves really helps us thrive in the legal profession.
(21:19)
It helps us be better lawyers.
(21:22)
And that's the purpose of this program and this podcast.
(21:27)
Is to help you be not only a better lawyer,
(21:30)
but be a better human.
(21:32)
Become the version of you that you're meant to become.
(21:35)
And I truly believe that when we manage our time and our mind,
(21:41)
that we are able to create the space to get closer to ourselves.
(21:47)
To our center.
(21:49)
And that was definitely the truth for me.
(21:50)
And it's definitely been the truth I've observed
(21:54)
working with lawyers over the years.
(21:56)
And I have a hunch it's true for you too.
(22:00)
So join me inside of Timepiece.
(22:02)
The door is closed soon, so be sure to join right now.
(22:05)
If you're listening to this podcast,
(22:07)
I think it's coming out on May 1st.
(22:10)
So it's going to be closing any day now.
(22:13)
So go to dinacataldo.com
(22:15)
forward slash timepiece
(22:17)
P-E-A-C-E
(22:18)
Enroll now.
(22:19)
And when you go to the website,
(22:21)
you're going to see everything laid out for you,
(22:23)
including some amazing bonuses
(22:25)
that are going to up-level your skills as an attorney,
(22:28)
as a business owner.
(22:29)
And even if you're not a business owner,
(22:31)
it doesn't matter what kind of law you practice.
(22:33)
Timepiece for Lawyers is going to help you become more you.
(22:38)
All right, my friend.
(22:39)
I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.
(22:42)
I'm going to go out here
(22:43)
and walk around this beautiful lush green grass
(22:45)
and get Frankie away from all the mulberries
(22:49)
he's snacking on out there currently.
(22:51)
I can see him munching away.
(22:54)
And I'm going to go in and have a little dinner.
(22:57)
All right, then.
(22:58)
Have a great day.
(22:59)
Bye.