#356: Handling Hard Weeks

Handling Hard Weeks

No matter how good you are at managing your time, sometimes there are just hard weeks. So what do you do when things go sideways? That's what I'm gonna talk to you about today in this episode of Be a Better Lawyer.

 

Hello, how are you doing today? So today I wanna talk to you about handling hard weeks. And let me tell you, my friend, the last couple weeks have had their challenges for me. And there are things that I planned at the beginning of the year that I want to follow through on that I want to follow through to completion because they're important to me. But just because I master time and space and all the things calendar does not mean that I don't have hard weeks. And so what I wanna do to is share with you how I bounce back, how I think about the hard so that you can take some of this with you through those times when you are having a hard day, a hard week, a hard month, or even a hard year. So let's just start with the fact that there is nothing wrong with taking days off from taking rest.

 

As you know, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, I encourage you to take care of you because if you're not taking care of yourself, nothing is gonna work right in your life. You're not gonna be the person that you wanna be to the people around you. And let's face it, it doesn't feel good when we are not the people that we want to be in our lives. So when we have times, when there's lots going on, there needs to be a refocus, a reset. And you've heard me talk about even a regrouping in the middle of your day when you are finding yourself straying from your calendar, straying from your priorities. Well, this is a regrouping of your day from the very beginning, right? And you can do this anytime of your day. But let me share with you what I've been doing and what I find really helpful to allow me to come out of the hard and do the things that are most important, to really prioritize the things that need to be prioritized, including myself, including my wellbeing.

 

‘Cause Don't forget that is important. So just to give you a little context for what I'm gonna share with you in these past couple weeks, I have had some challenges, but they've been of the best kind. Some of them and others, not so fun, right? So I am moving into Arizona soon. I have been preparing my house for sale. I showed the house. I have somebody who wants the house. I am packing everything. I'm painting everything. I'm working on the yard, and I've had help with this. But you know, I also have my own responsibilities when it comes to this. I have had a cold the last couple weeks. I got it last Saturday, I think when you're listening to this a couple, couple weeks ago. And it was just a little cold where I couldn't talk, which is why I did the best of episode last week.

 

My voice didn't feel awesome, and it turned into a chest cult. So now it's just a little painful breathing, but that's okay, <laugh>. And then my dog decided, he didn't decide, but he started seizing last week, which was, it's always hard to watch him have seizures. But when you're in the middle of other things, of course, having these extra seizures is not something that is a lot of fun, a little. And then I've also had appointments that I've need to make for my dog. Other little things for myself, those kinds of things that just come up and oh, yeah, I have a business that I run that I absolutely love spending time in and where I have coaching commitments. So when I have a couple challenging weeks, it is my responsibility to pay attention to my energy levels, to the way I feel, to how I am intentionally showing up throughout my day.

 

And I love looking at it as my responsibility, because it allows me to feel more powerful about how I show up, powerful about my energy levels throughout the day. Does it mean I don't get tired? No. But just because I am tired does not mean that I don't show up the way I want to show up. It also does not mean that I don't take rest when I need rest, but I allow it to be my responsibility. I focus on what I can control in my day, and then I go from there. What I'm gonna share with you soon are a few questions that I ask myself in the morning to help me with this. And I'm not a hundred percent successful with this. I know that I had the other day, my brain went sideways, which is why I wanted to bring this episode to life, because I know that I'm not the only one that you probably have these times too.

 

And when you are experiencing the hard, it can feel like there's nothing you can do about it. And I have done this where I just go into kind of like the self-pitying mode. Like I don't want to. It's so hard. Can I just stay here and take a nap? And I have to, I want to remind myself of how I want to show up in the day. Now, if I can't sit up, if I can't do the work, I will rest, right? If I could not speak on this podcast, I would have a, a best of episode, an essentials episode up here for you. But what I know for me is that I have a way I want to show up in my life. I want to be of service. I cannot be of service if I don't show up. But I also can't be of service if I am not taking care of myself.

 

And so there's a balance that needs to take place. And when I think about that balance, it is really helpful for me to use the tools that I've cultivated over time to be the foundation. So for me, the foundation is my calendar, the plan that I make for the week, the plan that I've made for the year. And if you haven't already downloaded the Precision Planning for Law Firm Growth Online course I've created, I highly recommend you go in there and grab it. You can go to dina cataldo.com/precision planning because that really gives you a foundation to rely upon. When you have hard times, when there are these situations in which everything feels like you don't have control over it, that it's just happening to you, it is your responsibility to bring your mind back to Wait a minute, wait a minute, this isn't happening to me.

 

This is something that I have some control over. Do I have a control over whether or not I had a cold or not? No, but I do have control over how I decide I want to show up. And so that's one thing, the tools, the foundational tools that I have been cultivating over the years, planning my year using Tool, the Precision Planning Tool, which I use because I think it's fabulous, and also having my weekly calendar planned out. So yesterday, like clockwork, I planned out my week because I knew it was gonna be more important for me than ever to have that tool to rely upon. And one of the mistakes I see a lot of people make is not having that tool and instead thinking, oh my gosh, I have so much to do, I should just jump in. That is always the wrong decision a hundred percent of the time.

 

And I'm reminded of myself over and over of this when I see how other people interact in the world. When you don't have a plan going into your week, it makes it really difficult to think, especially if you are having a hard week already. So if you are having a hard week, imagine not having any direction at all. And then not being able to think on top of it. When I have a calendar in front of me and my brain wants to go sideways and say, oh, I have no idea what to do right now. I'm so confused. I'm foggy. Whatever my brain wants to tell me is going on, I remind myself, wait a minute, go back to the tool. Go back to the calendar. What do I have to do today? Like, what have I decided ahead of time is the most important thing for me to do today?

 

And then I can always go back to what's next? What's next? What's next? One step at a time when you do not have a calendar, you feel like a chicken with your head cut off, you start going down rabbit holes on the internet and email and doing all the things that aren't that important in your business. And you do not show up the way you wanted to. I guarantee you that if you're doing all the things that are not a priority, you're not gonna feel good about yourself. At the end of the day, you're gonna be beating yourself up, which of course, that is not going to help us show up the way that we want to either. So if you have a foundation to allow yourself to keep looking at throughout the day, it will serve you so well. This is especially important for you, law firm owners who are trying to build your business, because if you are not intentionally planning your time, it's very easy to let your goals take the backseat.

 

I have decided that that is not how I want to show up in my business. I do not want my goals to take a backseat. And even though things might not be perfect in terms of where I would love them to be so that my life was optimized and I could focus exactly the way that I wanted to, I am responsible for my business and its growth and achieving the goals that I've set out for myself. And I think it is the most compassionate thing for me to do for myself, is to remind myself of my goals and allow myself to show up in the way that I want to, that serves me, serves the business, serves the people that I want to serve. So how do I do this? Well, there's a few questions I want to give you that I ask myself so that I can use the tools that I have in the best possible way.

 

And this is a great journaling practice to help you regroup and to refocus and reconnect with the version of yourself that you want to be in your life when things get hard. So the first question that I have for you is, how do you want to show up today? Do you want to show up in your best clothes with a fresh face in front of the people that you have decided to serve today? Whether they are on consult, whether you have clients coming in the office, whether you have motions to do whatever it is? How do you want to show up? Do you want to show up with more energy? Do you want to show up with a steady energy? Do you want to say, look, I am so sick like last week when I didn't have a voice, that I actually need to move appointments, that this is not something that I can do without passing out <laugh> with, or maybe my voice is not good enough to be having conversations with people.

 

So those are the kinds of things to ask yourself. It, it's not a one size fits all answer, and it's going to change day from day. So if you are having the day when that I was having last Monday, my answer to this question was different than this Monday. So last Monday, I wanted to make everything easy. I didn't want to do anything because I did not feel well, but I did not want to move appointments. And so my decision was I want to show up for my coaching clients with all of my energy, with all of my focus and intention on helping them. And so I put everything else off <laugh>. I was just like, Nope, we're gonna, we're gonna not do this. We're gonna make this easier. We're gonna do that easier. We're gonna eliminate that today. We are just serving clients today because that is where my bandwidth is, and that is where I'm gonna be able to focus my energy, and then everything else is gonna be to rest.

 

And then this Monday, when I look at, at how I approach this question, I look at it as, okay, look, I want to show up with my very best energy, and that means showing up for all of my clients with my biggest energy, with my most focus, so that I can help them achieve the results that they want. It means thinking about what do my clients need this week to help them to succeed? It comes down to when I'm thinking about my time piece for lawyers group, I'm thinking about what questions do I need to be asking them so that they are getting the most from the program. Those are the kinds of things that I'm asking myself. And I was also asking myself, well, how about the podcast? How do I wanna show up in the podcast? Well, I want to show up with energy and with total honesty with what I go through sometimes, because you sometimes go through this too.

 

And I think that so many of us push ourselves painfully. So where we're making ourselves more sick, we're making ourselves more frantic or panicked, versus thinking about how to create sustainable resilience. Really having the energy to fulfill our promises to ourselves and others, and allowing ourselves to take care of ourselves in the best way possible. So that's the first question I ask. How do I wanna show up today? And when I say today, I mean, this is a journaling practice you'll to do every single day that you're not feeling your level best, right? Every single day. And you could do this practice, whether you're having a hard week or not. It is going to serve you. It is going to help you get intentional, focus on what you want to do, how you want to be during your day. So that's the first question. How do I wanna show up today?

 

The second question is, what will make today or this week easier? I asked myself, how do I want to make my week easier? Because as I stepped into my week, I recognized on my calendar I had two priorities. One, well, I had multiple priorities, but they were not all going to get done. The first priority I wanted to keep above all else is excellent service to my clients. That is of utmost importance to me. It is my responsibility to help them achieve what they want. And I take that very seriously. I want to be at my best at all times when it comes to focusing on my clients. The second priority that I had was really building my business. And how I do that, one of the things I do that with are my master classes. And so I wanted to ensure that I sat down, gave myself time to sit down and write emails to my email list about this new masterclass that I have.

 

So this is where this, this next question comes in, what will help me perform? Well, actually, let me even look <laugh>, let me even take this a step further with the second question. What will make my week easier? Because I was thinking about this in the last week when I didn't feel well, how I was going to do this masterclass, but make it easy as possible for me? And one of the answers that I get is, don't make a landing page. You know, don't promote it on social media. Don't do all of that stuff. Just promote it to your email list. Just let them know that this masterclass is coming up, that this is something that is gonna help them build their business. That this is something that is going to allow them to make their law firm growth goals possible. And that means I don't do all the extras.

 

It means I'm sending these emails, this messaging directly to the people who have set signaled that they're interested in what I have to say. And those are the people who are on my email list. And if you're not on my email list, just go to dina cataldo.com. You can go to dina cataldo.com/timepiece, P-E-A-C-E. I have a free workbook there that you can download that'll get you on my email list. And when you join my email list, you are gonna get the access to these kinds of programs when my bandwidth is not necessarily going to be promoting it on social media. You're gonna get this directly in your inbox, and you're gonna be able to sign up for it. So that is one thing I wanna share is asking that question, what will make my week easier? Last week, the answer to this question was, do a best of podcast episode instead of recording a new one, because I did not have the bandwidth to do it or the voice to do it <laugh>.

 

So that is something you can ask yourself every single day, what will make my day easier? It's going to allow you to think about what needs to be delegated. What can I say is not a priority? Maybe I need to send an email to those clients saying, this is not going to happen because I've had X, Y, z come up for me, or something to that effect. But when you ask yourself that question, your brain will come up with answers. For me, I have to say last week, my brain, I could not think clearly. And so at least when I was talking to my assistant and thinking about my week, so I had been talking to him, and then he said, well, why don't you do best of episode? And I said, oh my gosh, why didn't I think of that? So oftentimes, if we have somebody that we can bounce ideas off of, an assistant, a coach, whomever it might be, they will help you come up with ideas to make your day easier or your week easier.

 

So the third question that I ask myself is, what will help me perform the way that I want to? And this overlaps a little bit with the second question, but I think it's worth asking because it allows you to think even further. So what will help me perform the way I want to nourishing myself the way that I want to, making sure I've got water nearby so that I'm drinking lots of water, that I am, you know, reviewing everything that I need to review, that I'm giving myself extra time to think when I'm writing my emails, to do those kinds of things for myself so that I can perform the way I want to. Maybe it means taking time in the middle of my day to ensure that I'm taking rest, whatever that looks like for me. And it's gonna look very specific for you when you ask yourself, how can I nourish myself?

 

How can I help myself perform the way that I want to? Maybe it means cutting out a big part of your day and focusing on just one task that's important to you. One, consult a couple clients, whatever that looks like, so that you can focus the way that you want to. Maybe it means moving commitments. I, I did this last week where I had made a, a couple commitments with friends, and I said, I, I cannot do that this week and moved them. So those are the things that you can be thinking about. And then the fourth question that I ask myself is, what do I want to ensure that I do no matter what, no matter how hard things get, no matter how bad I feel <laugh>, right? No matter what comes up, what do I want to ensure that I do? And that came up really easy for me.

 

The two things I wanted to ensure that I did, no matter what is serve my clients to the absolute top of excellence, and to write these emails for the masterclass, those are the two things I am ensuring that get done this week. And it's okay to let the other things go. It's okay to say, oh, maybe not this week, but prioritize what needs to absolutely get done this week for you, because it will help you refocus throughout the day, especially when you're having a day where you feel unfocused, you are tired, maybe you didn't sleep the night before, and your brain just wants to scroll social media, catch yourself, and then remind yourself, oh, wait a minute, what are those four questions? What were my priorities? And then reset, regroup. It is so helpful to give yourself just 10 minutes to answer these questions, and you most definitely can take 10 minutes to sit down and write these questions out and write out their answers.

 

So let me go through those four questions again. How do I wanna show up today? What will make my week easier? What will help me perform the way that I want to? What do I want to ensure I do no matter what? This is so amazing when you refocus and it's, it's intentional and you are in charge of your brain. You are in charge of how you want to be in the world. And maybe it means taking a day off and taking, clearing your to your whole calendar. Or maybe it means saying, I am going to show up this way no matter what, but not doing it by grinding, not doing it by pushing myself or killing myself. This is sustainable resilience. This is giving yourself what you need. This is important because I think lawyers who are not yet connected to how they feel in their body can think that feeling anxiety and stress, stress and dread and pushing is normal, that that's how things are supposed to be.

 

That's not how this is at all. This is a calm resilience. This is a confident, trusting ability to take care of myself and to take care of those that I want to serve. There is no stress, there is no overwhelm. There is no dread or pressure. This is me showing up fully in power in my empowerment that I give myself by taking responsibility of how I want to show up every single day. Is it easy? No. That's why not everybody does it. But if you want to show up even during those times that are hard, without the stress, without the pressure, these are the practices you must master. You must learn how to manage your mind even in the toughest of times. That is why I do what I do, is because I see the power of mind management. I see the power of using this beautiful brain that we have to create intentionally the life that we want.

 

And then at the end of the day, feeling so proud of myself because I intentionally directed my day. I told myself what I wanted and I made it happen. Not with anxiety and cortisol, but with this sustainable resilience, this steady moving forward of what I want to prioritize and doing those things in a way that is intentional, that feels good to me. And you can do this too. I promise you, if you want to master your mindset around growing your law practice, I highly, highly, highly recommend booking a strategy session with me. It's complimentary, and you are gonna get the tools that you need. You're gonna be able to see exactly the tools that you need to master in order to take yourself to that next level. And if you are interested in managing your time better, in managing your mind around time better, I highly recommend you join My Time Piece for Lawyers Program.

 

You can get information about all of the programs that I run by going to dina cataldo.com/work with me. That's dina cataldo.com/work with me. Every single program that I do centers on mindset, because if you do not have this tool, you will not be able to show up intentionally. You will not be able to create the life that you want because you will always be at the mercy of other things happening in your life. And trust me, my friend, I know things happen whether you plan them or not, and they have an impact on your life, but how they impact your life is up to you. That is what you have control over. All right, my friend, I hope that this episode serves you well, and I hope you have a fabulous rest of your week. Bye.