#341: 5 Tips to Manage Your Energy During the Holidays

#341: 5 Tips to Manage Your Energy During the Holidays

In this episode, I’m giving you three tips to help manage your energy during the holidays — and beyond — so you can actually enjoy the season and be the person you want to be for your friends and family.

 

If you feel anxious about the holiday season coming up, you’re not alone, my friend.

I hear so many lawyers tell me that they’re overwhelmed even thinking about the holidays.

You may be there right now, thinking about all the things you have to do. You have this running checklist in your head of everything that needs to get done.

 

You’re trying to work ahead and work faster to make space for all the extra things you need to handle, but it seems impossible since you already felt overwhelmed at the office to begin with.

 

Then there are family expectations. Who’s hosting dinner this year? If it’s at your house, that adds a whole other level of tasks to juggle.

 

And maybe this is the same cycle you go through every year. 

 

Each holiday season, you feel the same panic as it approaches, and somehow you stretch yourself and it gets done.

 

But you barely experienced the joy and fun the holidays are supposed to bring because you were so busy making everyone else happy. 

 

You rush around, end up exhausted, and when it’s time to go back to work, you don’t feel rejuvenated at all.

 

If you’re resonating with this, this episode is for you — and even if you’re listening to this when there’s not a holiday in sight, keep listening. I’m going to give you tips that will help you calm the overwhelm and give you more control of your time. 

 

And if you know someone else who goes through the holidays feeling the same way, forward this episode to them — let’s make this season better for all of us.

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Before we jump in, I want to make sure you’re on the interest list for Time Peace for Lawyers™.

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Problem 1: You Feel Overwhelmed by the Holiday Season

 

When you think about the holidays, it feels like there’s this never-ending to-do list. You start picturing all the things you need to do and how much time it’s going to take, and it becomes overwhelming. You might even feel like you’re already behind before you’ve even started.

 

Tip #1: Don’t Hold All The Information in Your Brain

 

Take 10 minutes to write down everything your brain is telling you that you need to get done. One of the habits we often have in our work lives is not writing things down, and this can carry over into our personal lives. When we keep everything in our heads, it leads to constant anxiety. We worry that we’ll forget something, so we go over the list in our minds again and again.

 

Writing everything down allows you to let go of that mental list. Now, when you feel overwhelmed, you can remind yourself that it’s all on paper — you don’t need to keep thinking about it.

 

I do this exercise with my clients all the time. When they feel overwhelmed, it’s usually because they haven’t written down their list or they’ve forgotten that they don’t need to keep thinking about it once it’s written.

 

Tip #2: What Do You Want the Holidays to Look Like?

 

Ask yourself what you truly want during the holidays. It’s so easy to get caught up in everyone else’s expectations and forget that celebrating the holidays — and how we celebrate them — is actually a choice.

 

Yes, family may have expectations, and they may even feel disappointed if you don’t meet them. But living by other people’s expectations is a no-win scenario. You’ll end up feeling drained, never fully happy, and may even start to feel resentful because you’re doing things out of obligation instead of joy.

 

Think about what you do and don’t want to do this year. Maybe it’s as simple as not putting up a tree or as big as deciding not to join certain family traditions. 

 

A couple of years ago, a client of mine realized she didn’t enjoy her extended family’s holiday gatherings. They were disorganized, and she always felt obligated to take charge. So, she decided that she and her husband would go out of state for Thanksgiving instead. They had such a great time that they made it a yearly tradition.

 

It’s up to you to decide how you want to spend your energy this holiday season. Give yourself permission to do what aligns with your needs and wants.

 

Problem 2: You Overcommit During the Holidays

 

There’s so much going on during the holidays, and it’s easy to overcommit — holiday parties, extra work, charitable events, and more. Each time you say “yes,” you end up spreading yourself thinner and thinner.

 

Tip #3: Take a Hard Look at Your Commitments During the Holidays

 

Before saying “yes” to any commitment, ask yourself, “What am I willing to give up to do this?” Because every “yes” means you’re saying “no” to something else.

 

Maybe saying yes means giving up time you’d spend planning your holiday meal, getting gifts for your kids, or taking care of yourself. Time is energy, and each “yes” is a choice to direct your energy to one thing and away from something else.

 

When I think about my business, for example, there are countless things I’d love to do, but I know I have a finite amount of time and energy. I have to decide ahead of time how much time and energy I’m willing to give. If a new idea doesn’t fit within that limit or move me towards my priorities, I table it.

 

Ask yourself: What is my goal for this holiday season?* Do I want more family time? Less family time? Do I want to feel calm and grounded? Or do I want to be running around feeling panicked or hectic?

When you answer these questions, you’ll be better prepared to pause and reflect on whether a new commitment aligns with those goals. If it doesn’t, say “no.”

Problem 3: Forgetting to Put Yourself on Your Calendar

 

In the rush to get everything done, we often overlook taking time for ourselves. Maybe it’s getting to bed a little earlier, setting time aside for a yoga class, or waking up just 30 minutes early to have some quiet time with your coffee. Whatever it is, you need to make sure you’re on your own calendar.

 

Tip #4: Make Me-Time a Non-Negotiable

 

Schedule time for yourself, and treat it as non-negotiable. This is the least selfish thing you can do because when you’re recharged, you can show up as the best version of yourself for others.

So, make that time for yourself. Whether it’s relaxing in the evening, reading a book, or just spending time reflecting — put it on your calendar.

 

Problem 4: Forgetting to Manage Your Energy in the Heat of the Moment

 

Picture this: you’re at the dinner table with Uncle Bob whose political views are the polar opposite of yours. He wants to have a debate. You get upset — and you try not to say anything. But you feel tense and irritated by the whole direction the conversation is going. You think, “I wish we could just have a friendly dinner,” as you fume in silence. What we’re doing in that moment is judging the other person for how they’re behaving or their beliefs.

 

Tip #5: Let People Be Themselves

 

What if you could take a breath, let him be him and let you be you? You don’t need to feed into that part of you that’s upset or judging them.

 

One of the things I like to do is remind myself that everyone is on their own path on this planet that’s basically one big school where we learn things. Those lessons come in the form of experiences. 

We don’t all get the same lessons and we don’t all get them at the same times in our lives. So just because I have a belief that seems self-evident to me because of my experiences doesn’t mean the other person has experienced that same lesson.

 

When I start judging someone for how they’re behaving, not only am I doing the exact opposite of what I want to do, but I also zap my energy. I begin to feel tired and worn down. 

 

But when I just let them be them and know that it’s not my job to change them, and it’s okay that they are who they are because that’s where they are in their path, my life becomes easier. 

 

I then find the whole scenario interesting like I’m watching a TV program instead of being in it. 

I’m the observer. I’m not judging what’s going on as good or bad, I’m simply looking at what’s happening from an outside perspective. Getting a little distance allows me to be happy simply being no matter what those around me are saying or doing.

 

You can apply this to work too. Look at what things get to you during the holiday season and ask yourself, Is it worth it? Is steaming on the inside and judging other people for their behaviors worth how I’m feeling inside? Is it going to matter in a month?

 

Then take a breath and move on.

 

When I manage my energy this way, I feel so much more energized to take on what I’ve taken on in the holidays and in my life generally.

 

Let’s do a quick recap of the 5 tips you got here today.

• Calm overwhelm by writing down everything your brain is telling you that you need to get done.
• Ask yourself what you truly want during the holidays. It’s so easy to get caught up in everyone else’s expectations and forget that celebrating the holidays — and how we celebrate them — is actually a choice.
• Before saying “yes” to any commitment, ask yourself, “What am I willing to give up to do this?” Because every “yes” means you’re saying “no” to something else.
• Schedule time for yourself, and treat it as non-negotiable. This is the least selfish thing you can do because when you’re recharged, you can show up as the best version of yourself for others.
• Let other people be who they are and release any judgments you have of where they are on their path. Take a breath and ask yourself if it’s going to matter in your life a month from now, and then move on.

And if you want more support on your journey, there’s two ways to work with me to do that:

1. Time Peace for Lawyers™ opens up in a couple weeks, and you can learn more at dinacataldo.com/timepeace
2. If you want private coaching where you get individualized support to manage your time, grow your practice, and go after goals, you can book a call with me at dinacataldo.com/strategysession

I recently had a lawyer tell me it took her time to build up the confidence to schedule a Strategy Session with me, and she was so glad she did. She said, “Our time together was super productive. I wasn’t sure what to expect.” If you’ve been putting it off, this is your sign to book your Strategy Session now.

 

You can book at dinacataldo.com/strategysession

 

Hope this episode helps you enjoy your holiday season.

 

Talk to you next week.