#329: Reframing Rejection

Reframing Rejection

Here's a transcription of this episode:

One of the topics I talk most often with, with my clients is self-worth, and really overcoming those feelings of rejection that we can anticipate happening or maybe even rejection that's happened in the past.

So in this episode of Be a Better Lawyer, I wanna talk to you about three of the areas where I see this come up most often, and my solution for you.

Hello, how are you doing today? So today we're gonna talk about the subject of rejection. And the way I see it, there's two types of rejection, the types of rejection where somebody actually says no to us, and then the kind of rejection that we do to ourselves that we anticipate happening, and we reject ourselves before we even give ourselves a chance.

And the topic of worthiness, worthiness and self-worth is huge. So I am not going to be talking about worthiness as a whole, but rejection is a facet of self-worth. And when we fear rejection, we are questioning our value. We are questioning the things that we want as being valuable enough as being the right things to value. So we're gonna talk about that in this episode. Before we jump in, and before we talk about this in depth, I want to invite you to the September Masterclass.

You can join me at dina cataldo.com/september. In this masterclass, we are gonna be talking about self-worth, because procrastination is the topic of this masterclass. And self-worth often plays a part in procrastination.

So we're gonna be talking about that and the mindset that you need to overcome procrastination and start taking action. You can go to dina cataldo.com/september to get the details and to register now. Alright, so let's talk about rejection.

And I will tell you I am very experienced in rejection, so I am the perfect person <laugh>, to talk to you about this.

So in this context of rejection and in this context of the two types of rejection, one being where somebody says no to you and where you say no to yourself before anyone has a chance to say no to you, I see several problems coming up. One is, is that when we are allowing, 'cause we're allowing this, it's always up to us.

We have free choice here.

When we are allowing ourselves to be run by a fear of rejection, we cannot create the life that we want.

We can, we are gonna feel out of alignment. We are going to feel horrible. We are not going to be able to live into our biggest, highest self. It's impossible.

As long as we are stuck in any type of fear, and we are letting that rule us, we cannot make the changes necessary to live bigger, to grow our practice, to, you know, set up our practice in a way where it's smooth running so that we can have a life on the side, right? To have that living in harmony side by side. So know that this is really important. It's incredibly important. If you are allowing fear to rule you in any area, whether it's fear of rejection, of failure, of anything like that, then you will not be able to create the life that you want.

And I have experienced lots of it, so I can't wait to share all of my experiences so you can learn from them.

<Laugh>, the, the, the ways that I hear this come up a lot in my coaching calls are around raising rates, around promoting their services and around asking for something, whether it's asking for a raise or asking for an office or asking for a certain day off or asking for a vacation.

So it can come up in all kinds of contexts, but just notice generally this rejection, this fear of rejection is gonna come up.

Anytime you're asking something more of yourself, you're asking more of somebody else, it's just gonna come up and that's okay.

This is normal.

And if you continue choosing that path, you will not be able to move forward.

But what I'm gonna share with you here in this episode is how to start reframing that path.

Because any path we choose is based on what we think.

So if we think that rejection is, that's it, I'm done. Like obviously I was gonna be rejected on that one, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, I'm not capable.

Like all of those things

. If we're believing those stories about ourselves, then we're always gonna go down that path.

And those stories are optional. And I understand they don't feel optional right now because it takes practice.

They, those thoughts are really practice. That path is well worn. You might have thought to yourself like, I don't deserve these things, or I'm not good enough for years. And so what has to happen is you saying like, no, enough is enough. I am going to just say, Nope, that is, I'm gonna press the delete button. Every time that thought comes up, I'm gonna say, Nope, that's not it.

Nope, that's, I don't believe that anymore. And then we're gonna reframe it and I'm gonna give you ideas to reframe anytime these thoughts of ears come up in these particular areas so that you can begin making the shifts that you need because it is a practice of replacing those well-worn beliefs with new beliefs and really giving yourself evidence that they are true. And that's what mindset is all about. Because our mind has thoughts, they're al they're, we're always gonna have thoughts, right? But we need to intentionally choose them. And if we're not intentionally choosing them, we are letting our subconscious, our old programming run our lives. And if you want a new life, you gotta press delete on those thoughts. And you've gotta start practicing these other thoughts. And I wish I could give you a magic pill and those thoughts would just disappear. That would be fabulous, right?

But that's not how it works. It takes diligence. It takes practice. And I practice every single day. Every single day I'll notice a thought and I'll be like, what's the thought? And I'll laugh it off and just say, Nope, that is not a thought I believe anymore.

That's like an old programming thought that came up and I need to just like press delete.

Or I'll do something like, oh, I'll have so much compassion for myself. Like, oh honey, I understand why you hurt right now. It's okay. And then I'll remind myself of the reframe that I give myself. So it just kind of depends on what stage I'm at with that thought. Like, I have a relationship with that thought. Maybe the thought is, I'm not good enough, right? I can kinda look at that thought now and be like, that is just the silliest thought ever.

Look at all the people doing these things. You think that they just are just the most amazing, perfect people in the world. No. Like, I have a lot to offer, so I can kind of laugh it off, right? That thought. But there might be other thoughts that I have that I can't just easily laugh it off. Maybe it's something, I can't think of a thought right now, but if it, if I saw that, then I would have just so much compassion for myself and say, oh, that's totally understandable, why you would believe that to be true. Like, let's, let's take a moment with this thought and then let's let it go and let's reframe it and let's do that practice of the reframe. So let's, let's get into the topics and I'll tell you some reframes, I'll offer them to you so that you can practice those on your own so you can keep moving forward and create the life that you want.

‘Cause I don't wanna see these kinds of, of thoughts holding you back because they held me back for a really long time. So the three topics that I see these around selling, raising rates and asking for something, let's start with number one. Selling. This is something that I know that so many lawyers are afraid to do. They are afraid to sell their services because they think it's icky. They think it's gross. They think people are gonna think they're awful human beings, <laugh>, and that they are, you know, just, just icky, right? So that is a very common trope in our society too, right? Used car salesmen have like this kind of, you know, if you see 'em on tv, they're made to be really slick and really sleazy. And so there's these stereotypes that we have about selling, and then we have these experiences sometimes where maybe we wanted a service and we go into a store or we make a call and we get on a zoom call, and then somebody is really pushy with us and we feel, we feel gross, right?

We're like, Ooh, I don't like this. It doesn't feel good. I don't feel safe. And it takes practice. I gotta tell you, like, I wasn't always great at strategy sessions at consults, right? Like, I was not always great because I wasn't always in a great state of mind. And so you are just gonna, if you're doing consults yourself and you kind of feel kind of gross right now, it's a practice and yeah, you just gotta keep practicing until you are now confident in yourself and you don't feel gross. And then when you start feeling in alignment with what you're doing, you are gonna be able to better talk to people. You're gonna have easier conversations with them, and you're not gonna need anything from them, right? So selling isn't about needing anything from anybody. It's not about, oh, I need them to give me money or I'm not gonna be able to pay my rent.

You, you can't have those thoughts when you go into a consult, when you go into any kind of networking event or anything like that.

You, you can't have those thoughts because if you do, you're gonna be projecting that neediness on people and it's gonna feel horrible to them.

So you have gotta clean up yourself to do that. That's a whole other podcast, but I wanna talk about this in terms of rejection.

So I'm gonna switch gears a little bit. So when you're thinking about selling and you're preventing yourself from selling, so in other words, you're not going to networking events just to get to know people, or you are not promoting your consults or you are not putting yourself out there to go to events or to offer your services, let's say at a webinar or something like that for some corporations so that you can get in front of people who would wanna buy your services.

If you're not doing that, it's likely and you wanna grow your practice, right?

You're likely not doing those things because you're fearing rejection.

You're fearing what people are gonna think about you that you're not capable.

They're gonna think you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, so on and so forth.

Or you're think you, you're thinking those thoughts about yourself, nobody else has actually said no.

And you are thinking those thoughts about yourself and that's preventing you from doing it.

Or alternative scenario.

You have put yourself out there and you've had people say no, and then you've internalized that rejection as, I'm never gonna be able to do this. People don't like it when I do this. This is bad, this is wrong. So those kinds of things feel horrible. And so what I needed to do, because I experienced all of this when I was selling tea, when that was my very first business, right?

I was selling tea, I didn't know how to sell, I was learning how to sell, and it was not something that felt natural to me at all.

And I was looking to outside people to show me how quote unquote, the right way to do it. And it, it just didn't gel for me. It didn't feel good to me. And so I did that for a little while, and then when I found coaching and I decided this really felt good, I felt like I was really helping people, then I needed to learn how to sell one-on-one, how to sell my group program timepiece, which I'm, I'm starting to sell how to sell even free masterclasses. Because even if you have a free program, that is something that you need to sell because people aren't just gonna automatically know about it. People need to be told about it.

And that is selling when you tell people what you do, what you have to offer, that is selling.

But if you're constantly afraid that you know people aren't gonna like you, that they're gonna think you're horrible for, you know, selling, then you are not, you are not gonna take those actions.

You're gonna procrastinate, you're gonna put things off, you're gonna tell yourself, oh, it's not that big a deal. You're gonna tell yourself, oh, you know what? I'm really busy. I gotta check my email. <Laugh>, you do everything possible to distract yourself from doing things that feel horrible. Now our brains are wired to avoid pain at all costs. So it makes sense that this would be the behavior that you would exhibit. Totally makes sense. And if you wanna grow your practice, you've gotta sell. So what do you do? You've gotta reframe. You have to reframe everything.

And one of the best things I heard from one of my mentors was selling is service. That was such a beautiful reframe for me because if I look at not selling as a disservice to other people, it allowed me to see how, how I was being selfish, right? I'm being selfish when I don't sell. I'm being selfish when I don't share things with people. It also shows me that I'm thinking about myself and my needs and how I feel over other people's needs. And what they need right now is me to sell to them, to tell them, Hey, I've got this service. I'm really great at coaching. You're gonna change your life. You're gonna be able to build your business with less stress. You're gonna be able to stop feeling so overwhelmed. You're gonna be able to have more control over your brain, right? All of those things.

If I'm not telling people that that's what I can help them with, I can't help them because they don't know about it. That's why I have this podcast, right? So if you are putting yourself in a position where you're believing everything, your brain is telling you how it's bad to sell, how people are gonna think, I'm gross, I want you to do this. Reframe selling is service. When I share with people what I do, I open up an opportunity for them to see possibility for themselves, to see the possibility that maybe they'd never even had before. You know, and this could be something, no matter what kind of law you practice, you can frame this in a way that can help you here. If you practice, let's say you're a divorce attorney, right? You could say, you know, maybe they never thought that getting a divorce could be so simple and easy and that it could be amicable, right?

Like those kinds of things.

Like maybe they never saw that the pain that they had was important, that it was important enough for them to take to a personal injury attorney. Like those are the kinds of things you've gotta look for in your particular practice area so that you can move past this belief that your brain might have that selling is iki. Or I shouldn't be talking to people about what I do, or they're gonna think I'm a bad person and instead of trying to avoid rejection, say no, I wanna, I wanna embrace it because not every, not everybody's gonna want what I have, and that's okay, but I need to embrace this, otherwise I'm not gonna be able to help people. I get rejected way more times than I get people taking me up on my offer way more times. I don't know how many people have listened to this podcast, right?

But it's like that number of people have not all signed up to work with me, right?

I have people who, who sign up to work with me, and those are the people I resonate with and, and they resonate with me.

And they're like, yes, this is a perfect fit. And so when we find those perfect fit clients and we find those perfect fit people that we wanna buy from, then that's a beautiful thing. But if we're holding ourselves back from sharing ourselves, we are not going to be able to do that. We're not gonna be able to offer that up to people. People aren't gonna be able to take us up on what we have to offer. That's why it's so important to say, Hey, I get it brain, you think I'm gonna be rejected if I, you know, sell, but this is, this is something I've gotta do.

This is what I need to do in order to help other people. So that is what I have to say about that. The next area, I hear this a lot around this fear of rejection, is raising rates. It can be a scary thing. Raising rates. You might have fears that people are going to leave you, that you are not going to ever get another client that, that people are going to hate you <laugh>. That you are going to kinda rock the boat in your practice in a way that feels really uncomfortable. And if you are afraid that people are going to reject you, you won't raise your rates. Which is really fascinating because most of the lawyers I talk to under charge, and they're either doing this undercharging in terms of what their rate is, whether they have a package rate or an hourly rate, doesn't matter.

Or what they do is they kind of give breaks in their billing, like all over the place. They just like, oh no, I don't need to charge for that, that, oh, I didn't tell them about that thing, so I should just cut that thing out. Or No, I shouldn't, I shouldn't do that. I should just cut that thing out. So they will cut themselves out of their lives, they cut <laugh> the value that they have created, and they don't have communication about the value that they're giving their clients because they're afraid of being rejected. Because if the bill is quote too high, then their client's gonna hate them or they're going to be upset with them, or they're gonna tell everybody all these bad things about them and then their business is gonna close. And then they have these worst case scenarios that they're gonna be living on the streets.

But really <laugh>, if you look at the worst case scenario, the worst case scenario is the client comes and says, Hey, what's this?

And then you tell them like, that's literally what's gonna happen.

And the people that who are, you're not fit clients.

You don't wanna attract those.

So you don't want to have that kind of you don't wanna have that misalignment.

I wanna give you an example of this. So let's say you're cutting your rates left and right, you are gonna be attracting people into your practice that want discounts, right?

You are gonna be attracting people into your practice that are expecting discounts.

And so that is not how you wanna run a business. You wanna run a business where it feels aligned, where the prices you charge are in alignment with what you want to charge, because that's an alignment with what you, the work you are providing.

And an example of this is when I talk to clients, a lot of times I'll ask them this question, Hey, do you know anybody else in your industry that is charging more for the work that you do but doesn't do as good a job as you do?

And they'll say, oh yeah, yeah, there's this guy down the street and he's just awful <laugh>, and he charges like a hundred dollars more an hour than I do. Or his package is way more than my package. And I'll say, well, why do you think that is? It's just, it's just, I don't know. I don't know how he could possibly, I don't know. It's because he hasn't attached this fear of rejection around his pricing. He just priced it. I have this client, it's so funny.

Every, you know, sometimes we'll talk about this and I'm sorry guys, I have to share this with you because, you know, and you know, as women, I have a lot of women listeners, I gotta share it.

And you might think it's funny too, but one of my clients, she'll say, you know, walk into a room like a mediocre white guy <laugh>.

And I'm like, I think it's hilarious when she says it because it's true. Because it's, it's, it's like, look, we as women, we come into this world taught to have less confidence than just about everybody.

And so we've gotta practice being confident like the, the men out there who are out there, who are able to communicate their prices in a very matter of fact way, in a way that's very confident, very clear.

And I'm not saying I'm not by any means.

Please don't email me <laugh> being offended, right? Like, but this was just, this is just so fascinating when our brains as women tell us we can't do these things, that it would be bad, that we should feel bad for doing these things when other people in the world, not just white men, there's lots of women who are doing this too, <laugh>, right?

Can communicate their rates very clearly and say things to clients and say, Hey, I'm gonna raise my rates.

Here's why I am doing it.

You know, here's what's gonna happen starting in September.

Just wanted to give you a heads up, right?

Just being very matter of fact about it. And when you're matter of fact about it, it doesn't phase people.

They're just like, oh, they, they have a choice.

They either say yes or they say no. And not everybody will come with you. And that's okay. You don't want everybody to come with you. The whole purpose of raising your rates is to help you.

And for example, I have a client who she just keeps getting more and more and more business like.

Now she's, she's building and building and building and she's noticing that her bandwidth is decreasing. So what we want to do when our bandwidth is decreasing is we want to create ways to generate bandwidth.

And one lever that we have to generate bandwidth is to raise rates. So if you are not raising rates and you're just taking on more and more and more and more clients at the same old rate, you are gonna be in a mismatch.

Your practice is going to feel overwhelming because you've created an overwhelming situation.

But if you can start to reframe and start to say things like, look, when I uplevel my clients uplevel, when I raise my rates, my entire value of my practice, I feel it increasing, right?

I can just feel the energy behind my business increasing when I raise my rates because now I'm fueling my business adequately.

I'm fueling my business.

I'm not ripping myself off.

I'm not tearing myself down, telling myself that I shouldn't be doing these things, things, you know, I am now that person, I am being that person who has a practice that charges X rate and the guy down the street is charging X rate.

Like I am competitive with that person. I am, I am on par, if not superior in terms of my service. And therefore this is the market rate for my services. Your confidence level is going to increase.

You just cannot get around that. And when you are more confident, you're gonna draw in better clients.

So if you have a practice where you're not super happy with the quality of the clients that you have right now, one of the questions I would ask you yourself is, what are my rates right now?

Am I charging the value of my services?

I have a client who was telling me that she was going through her, the parts of her service, 'cause she was doing flat rate and she recognized, oh my gosh, like this actually takes me a lot longer than I thought. I didn't realize I wasn't charging for this fee and this fee and I wasn't charging for this thing.

And so she was totally undercutting herself and she hadn't been looking at and keeping up with her rates and looking at her rates.

So this is something that's really important to do and to put on your calendar to say, okay, let me look at my rates.

Are my rates reflective of the value that I am putting into the work that I am giving my clients?

Because when you do that, you are going to have a different perspective. Another client that I have, she was charging like, I think it was like two 50 for a console and I think her hourly rate was three 50.

And so she was telling me she wasn't really happy with the quality of clients who were coming in.

They were kind of looking at the three 50 hourly rate as a lot when they had the consult for two 50.

And I said, okay, well why aren't you charging three 50 or three 50 for your consult? And she said, well, I'm afraid that people are gonna say no, that I'm not gonna get as many clients, that I'm not gonna get as many people coming in the door basically, right?

And I said, well, I mean, why not charge three 50?

Because if they know that the console is three 50, then they're more likely to then come into your services, understanding the value of your work, and then pay you three 50 for your hourly rate.

And she was, you know, a little skeptical and you know, her husband was really skeptical, said, oh my gosh, this is not gonna work.

This is a bad idea. I said, look, just try it.

You can always go back.

You don't have to do it forever, just try it.

Sure enough, she raised her rates for her consult to three 50 and now she's having much better success getting people to move forward with the work that she wants to help them with.

And she's happier because now she's not charging two 50 versus the three 50 she knows she should be getting because that is the value of her work. So that's another thing to look for, is when you feel this misalignment with something you're doing, in this case it's like, oh, I'm charging two 50 instead of three 50. Notice that I like to ask myself this question. It's like, would I be happy doing this work for X amount of dollars? Does that feel good? Because if it doesn't feel good, I'm gonna resent the work. I'm not gonna wanna do the work, I'm gonna avoid the work. And so if you're noticing those kinds of things coming up for you, that is also a really great opportunity for you to look into your practice and see whether or not there's some misalignments there. Are there some things that you're doing right now that are a reaction to fear of rejection versus in your highest best interest, are you able to, for instance, raise your rates and do it?

Because even if it's uncomfortable, you know it's the right thing. Or are you staying in the same old, same old because you're afraid that somebody's gonna say no to you? And I'll share with you, I've raised my rates several times and when I raise my rates, not everybody comes with me, but I need to create a story about that that serves me. Because if I create a story about people not coming with me, that's something like, I'm not good enough, or people hate me or I'm doing it wrong. Or of course I'm just this, I'm horrible, I'm a horrible person, like all these things, I'm not gonna be able to serve my other clients to the best of my ability and I want to be able to be there for my clients. And I know you do too. So when I raised my rates, I, yeah, sure it was uncomfortable, but I had that conversation and I said, you know, hey, this is what's happening.

I gave notice, right? So I made it as, as give gave them as much time as possible to plan for, you know, financially if they wanted to continue work with me, to think about it, if they wanted to think about it. Like those kinds of things. I created a situation where I just said, this is the direction I'm going and here is your opportunity to take me up on it or not. And that's okay. And then I made it so that it was something that felt really good to me. So for instance, when I raised my rates for my one-on-one coaching, I also wanted to create something for my clients that felt really good. So I created business strategy calls. Every single month I do a business strategy call and I give some additional bonus coaching to my clients so that they can get a little bit extra.

And I created the focus hour to give them every single month, like a new hour so that they can say, ah, those projects that I've been avoiding, I am going to take that hour, that focus hour with a group of, you know, lawyers. 'cause It's like a, it's like a coworking space, right?

Where we're just gonna focus for an hour, put our heads down and get things done.

And that kind of thing encourages people to do those hard things.

So I, I think about these ways, how do I uplevel the value of my services?

And you know, I, I talked to one of my clients, we talked about, okay, how do we uplevel your services?

And we talked about like, how do we think 10 steps ahead to make their life easier?

And we start parsing it out.

We start really building out something that feels more valuable, not just to them, but to you, because it's important that you feel good about whatever decision that you make.

And I'm not to say like make more work for yourself because you probably <laugh>, I will tell you, most of my clients don't need to make more work for themselves. But if you are wanting to uplevel your service, you wanna create like a white glove service, for instance, where you're really assisting your clients at a level that other firms maybe cannot do, then you've gotta start thinking differently. And you've gotta start thinking about what, how you're gonna price yourself in a way that makes you obviously valuable and deliver on that value tenfold. 'cause Just because you price yourself at a certain rate doesn't mean you're like, that's that's my value, right? Like there's what is it like, charge what you're worth and add tax that quote, it's like, that's kind of like a flippant way of saying this, right? But it's, we don't want that, we don't want that kind of thing.

We want to know our value and we don't wanna just add tax, we wanna communicate that value.

And one of those signals is price. Like, let's, let's face it like when you go to a grocery store and you look at, let's say, I don't know, let's say you're looking at steaks and you see one steak, you know, a cube steak is a lot cheaper than, you know, top sirloin.

They're gonna be very different pricing.

And that is gonna communicate to you the, the value of those cuts of meat.

So I don't, I don't know what cube steak is, if that's like a cut of meat, I think that's just, I don't know what that is, but you know what I mean. It's like you're gonna <laugh> you're gonna get different value based upon what you're looking at. You can do the same thing. Look at cookies, right?

You'll see cookies and you're like, wow, that's really cheap for a cookie.

And then you look at another cookie and you're like, Ooh, that's a little pricier and it's in a nicer package.

And oh, I bet that's a better cookie. And so you are going to gravitate towards the better looking cookie. So <laugh>, that's, that's what I'm talking about here. The value is not just in what you're pricing it at, it's at actual value. It's actually how you're packaging it and what you are delivering on for your client. So my reframes were when I up level my clients up level, when I deliver top-notch service, I attract clients that want top-notch service.

Like those are the kinds of things that I reframed as versus focusing on, okay, not everybody's gonna come with me.

Understandable.

Got it.

You wanna actually be focusing on the people who are coming with you and the people who are coming.

Like there will be people who are coming. And you've gotta keep bringing your brain back to that reframe. Alright? So the third area I wanna talk to you about is just asking for something. Whether you're asking for a raise, you're asking for a corner office, you're asking for time off, and you're asking this of somebody else, right?

Because you might not own your own practice or you might have things that you need to ask people for all the time.

Who knows, right?

You or asking your assistant for things, those kinds of things.

So the fear of rejection prevents us from asking things for asking for things. So if you want something, just notice whether or not you're asking for it. And if you're not asking for it, I want you to question why.

Why not?

Why aren't you asking for what you want?

Are you afraid that somebody's gonna think that you're not good enough?

Are you afraid that somebody's gonna tell you no, you don't deserve that? And I will share with you that if those are the fears that you have, it's not actually that those people believe that it's that you believe that about yourself.

And that's the kicker is that all of these thoughts that we have about other people are just reflections of what we believe about ourself. And yeah, the worst that can happen is somebody does actually say to you, no, you're not worthy of that corner office. Right? That would feel horrible. Most people won't say that. They'll just say no or they'll say no, it's actually for somebody else or whatever it is. It's up to us to make it mean what we wanna mean. And let me share a story with you from Jamie Kern Lima. I actually had the opportunity to hear her speak recently, and I was gifted her book worthy.

I haven't read through it all yet, but she has a really good section on rejection. And in that section she talks about how she basically, and in the speech that she gave, she talks about how basically she, I don't know, pitched hundreds of times to different cosmetic companies, including QVC, which is where she eventually made her name. She owned it cosmetics, it was eventually sold to L'Oreal for like something like $1.1 billion, that's billion with a B. And it was pretty fascinating to hear how much rejection she needed to take. And she took a lot of it, and it was, it would've been very easy for her to take things personally. So for instance, she gives an example of a person she was selling to. She was trying to gain their investment and she was, she was basically down to her last dollar in her business.

They were gonna go bankrupt, like it was like on the line for them.

And she went into this guy's office and made her pitch like this amazing pitch. She was so proud of it.

And then this guy said, I just don't think that people are gonna buy cosmetics from someone who looks like you and they want an ideal of perfection and you're not. It is basically what he said.

And they would've been very easy to take that personally. I'm welling up just thinking about it, right?

It's like to have somebody comment on your physical appearance and tell you you're not pretty enough to sell this product. I don't think people are gonna buy from you because you're not pretty enough. And that is something that she could have taken very personally, especially when she pinned all of her hopes in this particular company. But then what she said was she reframed it.

She said, this was protection. Rejection was protection for me. 'cause In that moment, I was prepared to give away my company, basically to keep the lights on to be able to keep moving forward.

Oh my God, I'm like really emotional about this. Anyhow, <laugh>. So when she started that reframe, she was able to say to herself, look, this has nothing to do with me. Yes, the comments that he made, not nice, <laugh>, I didn't feel good, but she was getting this rejection over and over and over again.

And she had to reframe the rejection or she wouldn't have kept moving forward.

She was just doing what she could to reframe and say, look, God is protecting me because that person's not meant to be in my life and that's why that person was not there, right? Or, or said no to me. Or I said, or I got a no from this person because this person would have taken everything from me.

And I didn't realize that what was in store for me was so much bigger than this guy's little measly investment.

Like I would've given over half of my investment away.

Instead, she kept her investment. And when she kept going and she kept going, she got rejected, like, I don't know how many times from QVC. And then finally she got like this 10 minute slot on QVC and it was a make it or break it, and she made it, right?

And so something like six years later, that guy who said, I don't think people are gonna buy cosmetics from someone who looks like you called her and said I was wrong, but to think that she was on the cusp of giving her company away, losing out on $1.1 billion for this company that was her baby. And she was protected by rejection. And so it's so important that we recognize rejection as a gift.

It doesn't always feel like a gift in the moment, but it's so important that we do. Maybe that person wasn't meant for you. If you think about relationships that you've had in the past, I can definitely think about relationships in my past where I'm like, wow, I'm so glad that person rejected me because they would've just been like a weight on me, right?

They would've been an albatross. So I want you to just start reframing these in your day-to-day life. And not only that, I wanna encourage you to look back on past rejections and reframe those two. I wanna encourage you to look back and start seeing the gifts that you were given by being rejected, by being grateful for those rejections, by showing yourself like, wow, I'm so glad that it didn't work out with that guy because now I'm with this guy.

This guy's amazing.

Or even, wow, I'm really glad that that guy didn't hire me because now I'm, I own my own business and this business feels amazing and I get to do what I wanna do when I wanna do it. Those are so important because when we start reframing our past, we start having a totally different relationship with rejection. We start seeing it as a gift. We start seeing it as something that, oh, wait a minute, the universe actually knows more than I do. And I always remind myself of that is the universe knows better what's in store for me than I do. It knows better what it wants to do with me than I do. So if I'm getting a rejection in this area, it's because there's something else out there for me. There's something else out there that's better for me. And I'm always thinking to myself like I am.

I am getting, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, and this is something that's happening for me, not to me, doesn't reflect who I am. It's simply the next step that needs to be taken so that I can get where I'm supposed to be. That is what I have to offer you here, my friend, is to really reframe your relationship with rejection. Because when you do, you will be able to make the steps that you need to take to catapult your life, to go in the direction that you wanna go. And if you want help doing anything that we talked about here in this episode, in creating a life that you really love, in overcoming overwhelm, in managing your time and your mind so that you can create the business of your dreams, I want to invite you to book a strategy session with me in that strategy session. We are gonna talk about what you want and the plan to get you there. You're gonna learn the thoughts that are preventing you from taking yourself to the next level. And then if you wanna learn more about working with me, I'm gonna share with you what that will look like. So you can book your strategy session at dina cataldo.com/strategy session. That's dina cataldo.com/strategy session. Alright my friend, I hope that you got so much from this episode and I hope you have a fabulous rest of your week. Bye.