emotions, emotion, Emotional Subtleties and Achievement, emotion and goal setting, emotion and goal achieving, ambition, lawyer coach, attorney coach, coach for lawyers

#70: Emotional Subtleties and Achievement


You're a high-achiever with big goals for your legal practice. But somehow you just can't seem to reach them. It's just a bit away from your fingertips. You can feel it. But you can't make it happen.

That's where our emotions come in.

When we aren't paying attention to the feelings we're generating, we'll never reach our goals. That's why this episode is so important if you want to get to the next level of any kind of law you practice.

Our emotions must be aligned with our goal. When we're striving to achieve something, we must pay extra attention to what we're thinking otherwise our emotions with not be aligned.

When we're attempting to align our emotions with with our goal, the emotional subtleties matter.

Oh, emotions. How we avoid you. Let me count the ways.

If we stop avoiding our emotions and tune in to them instead, they are a powerful tool to achieve results feeling more with less stress.

In fact, creating awareness around our thoughts and feelings is essential for achieving our goals without the stress.

Today I'm sharing something to pay attention to when you're working towards a goal with intention. It makes the difference between creating more stress in our lives unintentionally and creating a goal with confidence and ease with intention. Which one sounds more fun to you?


Hey, hey, how are you doing today?

I am really excited to talk about this topic and it's one of those topics that maybe you might not be so excited to hear about, but I think it is necessary if we are setting goals, if we are achieving big things in our life to talk about this. So I want to make sure you listen up today. It's something that I noticed over the weekend happening to me, and I wanted to share this experience with you because it can make a powerful difference in how we approach any goal in our life. So I want you to really hear what I have to say about this. It's about nuanced emotions, getting to the subtleties of how we feel about things to really create that progress towards the result that we want in the way that we want, because it's no use working towards a goal if we're going to feel horrible on the way there. So I really wanted to talk about this today. Now, if you love goal setting, if you really want to dig into your life and see what's working and what's not, if you are ready to redesign your life with intention, then I want you to listen up. If you're a lawyer, I have something for you. The Lawyer's Soul Roadmap is currently open for enrollment and that means that I want to see you there. I want to see people who are all in on themselves, people who are ready to take their lives to the next level, who are ready to feel open and expansive in everything that they do. And they really want to take a good look at themselves even when it's uncomfortable, even when it's something like what we're talking about today, which is emotions.

Cause we're going to talk a lot about subtleties and feeling and awareness and using that awareness to fuel a life worth living, to fuel living bigger and better in our lives every single day. So lawyers. Go to Dina cataldo.com forward slash join to learn all about the Lawyers Soul Roadmap program. That's Dina cataldo.com forward slash join. There's only a few days left as I record this for you to join, so I want to make sure you go to that link right away when you hear this. Now if you're not a lawyer, I have something for you too. It's accelerated growth through one on one coaching. If you are interested in this, you can go to Dina cataldo.com forward slash work with Dina and we can set up a scheduling call, a strategy session so we can see if we're a good fit for one another. That's Dina cataldo.com forward slash work with Dina and you can see the options for working with me there.

Okay, so now what I want to really get at today is emotion.

And I did a bonus episode talking a bit about emotion, but this is really getting at the subtleties of it and I just want you to really know that all emotion is, is a vibration in our body and it's something that's set forth in our body through a chemical reaction triggered by a thought.

So our emotions, just looking at them very objectively or something that's just created, it's just something that vibrates through our body. It's set off by a bunch of chemicals that are trickling through and they're alerting us to something they could be alerting as to danger. They could be alerting us to something beautiful and heartwarming, something that is open, something that is freeing and something that feels closed off and feels like you're drowning. So there are so many different subtleties to emotions that it's important to really take a close look at them when you are using them as a guiding post towards your goals.

Now, if you are listening to the bonus episodes, then I want to make sure that you're subscribed so you can get them first of all. But I also want you to recognize that these go hand in hand, the emotions that we have and the goals that we have when we have a goal, whatever it is, that is our result, right? That is what we want. And in order to create that result, we actually have to start feeling that emotion before we get it. So often we think about having happiness in the future rather than creating that happiness right now. That openness right now, that freedom right now so that we can create what we want, whatever that goal is that we think is going to give us that feeling in the future. And that is how we start getting all of the plans in motion, right?

Like how do we get there? Well, it's all generated from that feeling that we have. So there's lots of labels, true emotion. So I just want to kind of get into these nuances a little bit. And remember when I'm talking about vibration or energy, I'm talking about emotion. It's really just a feeling that we get, and so that is what I am doing when I'm using those words interchangeably, I want you to know all I'm talking about is emotion. We can label them really simply, right? We could label them good and bad, but that's not really helpful and I'm going to give you an example of something that I saw this weekend that I want to share with you to see if you're doing this in your life and if you might want to adjust this so that you can create more of what you want in your life and start eliminating more of what you don't want in your life.

So let's use some more labels for good. Okay, good can mean accepting, amused, flexible, focused, open, energized, committed, grateful, calm, centered. All of those words that you associate with feeling good, love, joy, all of those words. Now, some people say that all associations with a good feeling come from love. I don't know. I think sometimes that it comes from confidence, confidence that you can handle anything which could stem from self-love, from being really confident in yourself, from understanding that you have complete control over your emotions and the results you create in your life from that power that comes from understanding this. That's really where I feel like these good emotions come from and there's so many more. I'm just scratching the surface, but I want to give you some nuances of emotion so that we're not just going from, doesn't feel good and feels good.

I want you to have more words to describe how you feel. Prosperous, abundant, those kinds of words. Now let's talk about words that could be labeled as bad. So words like anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, busy, agitated, annoyed, humiliated, ashamed, insecure, guarded, this hardened, heartbroken, and these are all words that really have an underlying basis in a fear that we have, but insecurity. I'm not feeling like we're good enough that we can get it all done. Something about us not being enough. It's very much a lack mentality. It's very much fear based and anytime we are creating actions from a place of fear, we are not going to behave in the best way and we're certainly not going to create those big beautiful goals that we have. We're not going to be able to create the results that we want. So that's why these nuances are so important.

And even when, and this is where the nuance comes in, even when we described a feeling or somebody else describes a feeling to us, it doesn't mean it's going to vibrate the same way in us. Remember when or maybe you haven't listened to any of those episodes. I hope you go back and listen to them. But when we are talking about creating, generating a feeling in order to begin acting from that feeling to get the result that we want, what we are doing is actually creating a thought that's going to help us feel that feeling. If you are not familiar with this kind of work, science has been working on this for a long time. I love those science people. So they work with egs, functional MRI scanners to actually scan our brains and determine the different chemicals, the different neurotransmitters that are triggered based the words that we use based upon the thoughts that we have.

And each of us have different associations for different words. I mean there's generalized associations, words like overwhelm and security, humiliation, those kinds of words have a generalized negative emotion attached to them. But then there's something else I want to get at. So this weekend I was actually walking myself through this process of reaching a goal and I wanted to really think about how I was going to approach the school. I had a long to do list. I'm launching the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap these last few weeks and I've been doing these masterclasses and connecting with people and really getting inside people's heads because I really want to know what they're thinking because I want to be able to explain to them what the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap can do for them and how it can affect their lives. And every time I do something in my business, I learn and I grow and it's amazing and it's super uncomfortable.

And that means I have to do thought work. That means I have to work on myself so that I can continue to move forward even when it's uncomfortable. Even when I'm getting on video every day and I have a million other things to do. Even when I want to create something that I think is going to connect with someone and I'm going to the office and I'm doing a podcast and I'm doing another thing on my list and I'm going to yoga so we have all of these different things we want to do and I'm sure you can relate when you have a goal, you have a strategy, you have a plan, you come up with all of these things to do and you prioritize. Right? Well, once I did that, I knew I needed to generate a thought that is going to create the feeling that I needed to get it all done.

When I was thinking through that thought and thinking through that discomfort because I knew that discomfort was coming up knowing I had so much I wanted to accomplish. Then I started looking at, okay, what is that thought? And I thought that the thought was going to be, I feel super focused. I am super focused and I noticed that when I said that to myself, instead of generating a feeling of focus, which I would have assumed would be the emotion that I would be able to create with that thought, I actually felt anxious and I didn't like that feeling. So we took a closer look at it and for me personally, it didn't help thinking I'm super focused because the word focused gave me a little bit of that vibration in my body that didn't feel good, that felt like anxiousness that maybe was like creeping overwhelmed and I didn't want that because part of my goal in creating my business is to create it with as much ease as possible.

And it sounds like an impossible goal, right? But I am determined if I am going to create a business and practice the law, I'm going to do it with as much ease as possible. And so I am designing my life to create that ease. And part of that is becoming really aware of how my thoughts are impacting the way I feel. And when I was thinking about approaching the school, approaching this to do list, I had to go back and think through what thought is going to generate the calm, the ease that I want to feel as I go through this to do list. Because it's no fun working towards a goal. It's not enjoyable, right? Like if there's not joy behind it and I really want to create that for myself and I'm determined to do that. So what I decided is that I was going to have a new thought and so I practice different thoughts and that's what you have to do when you do this work as are you creating that feeling that you want to have.

When you have that thought, the more you do this, the more you're going to get cheat into these nuances keyed into these emotional subtleties and instead of working from something that you might assume as positive such as the thought, I am super focused for me that didn't work. Maybe it works for you and it feels like ease. Maybe it creates the emotion that you want to have. For me, what I needed to hear, what I needed to think was I've got this. I know exactly what to do when I tell myself I know exactly what to do. I feel full confidence in my body. I can feel it. Even now while I'm saying the words out loud, I feel solid. I feel calm. I feel like I can take on the world when I know that I know exactly what to do. I've got it handled and that creates confidence in my body.

It feels really good. So just play with these. If you are doing your thought work, if you are really practicing this kind of attention to detail in your awareness, in your work on yourself, you are going to see really big shifts. Tony Robbins says this thing about just making two millimeters of a shift every two millimeters that we make a shift, we start to angle away from the path that we were on towards that path that we want to be on. Every time we have some awareness around habits that doesn't serve us. Every time we have some awareness around a thought or a feeling that doesn't serve us, we make a two millimeter shift towards our goals towards becoming aligned with what we're doing right now and what we want to accomplish in our life. And that's really what I do when I'm coaching one on one with people and when I am doing things like the lawyer soul roadmap where we're really working on aligning exactly what we want to feel right now with what we want to feel in the future because it's no fun to like wait around until the end of our life to enjoy whatever pleasures it is that we thought we were going to have in the future.

We want to enjoy those right now, right? We want to have that joy. We want to have that fun. We want to be able to work from that place right now. So are you doing this? Are you doing your thought work? Are you taking time every morning or evening to put all your thoughts on paper and really start pulling out things? Just even one thing, one thought that you might have that isn't serving you and breaking down what that means, breaking down. Is that thought serving you? What kind of emotion is that creating in your body? What kind of actions are you taking when you have that feeling and what kind of results are you making in your life? Because if you start doing this work, if you are consistent with it, you will make two millimeters change every single day and you will reach your goals. You will get to what you want, no matter what your goal is, whatever it is you want to achieve, you can do it.

I just want you to notice that there is a difference here, a subtlety in these emotions and when you were doing this kind of work to really recognize that just because you think it might be a thought that should feel good, that should feel good in your body and create the result that you want. If you are noticing that it doesn't feel good, try something else. Try a different thought. This is all about experimentation. It's all about practicing these feelings in our body and the great thing is is our brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination, our brain functions so that we can imagine something and then experience that in our body. I think I did this, I must have talked about this recently. If it wasn't on the podcast, it was on one of the videos that I've done recently, definitely in my masterclass that I talk about how when we have a lemon and we squeeze that lemon in our imagination that we actually begin to salivate.

Our tongue, our salivary salivary, is that a word… They start to produce saliva. Just like we had a real lemon in our hands, just like we would have, let's say a grapefruit in our hands, we would be able to imagine what it was like to taste that lemon, to taste how tart it was at. Our brain automatically creates this chemical reaction in our body to then generate saliva. That's exactly what's happening when we are imagining how we feel, like when we think a thought, it generates that emotion in our body and that is what is keying our body into all of the chemicals that are released for that particular thought that we're having. So I just want you to start thinking about this and working through this. And if you're not already doing this kind of thought work, I highly encourage you to do so.

And if you want to learn more about the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap and working with me, you can go to Dina cataldo.com forward slash join that's Dina cataldo.com forward slash join. All right, I hope this gives you some thought work for the week to really just notice what's going on in your body, how you feel, and start creating some awareness. Even if you aren't doing your thought work right now, the more you become aware of the emotions that are generated in your body, the easier it's going to be to create whatever it is you want in your life. Whatever emotions you want to create in your life, because then you're going to get keyed in to what's triggering those emotions and you'll be able to see what your thought processes. You'll actually be able to work backwards. So just notice your emotions. That's really your homework for the week. Just notice what's going on in your body and how you feel. All right, I went back to you soon. Bye.

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