Transcript: The Sign to Go After What You Want with Dina Cataldo
Hello there — How are you right now? There's a lot going on in the world, and I know you may be watching the news a lot more lately because there's so much going on.
What I want to tell you before we dive into this week's episode, is that whatever you're feeling is okay.
Those feelings are normal.
What I also what you to know is that you have the ability to take action to help the way you want to AND go after what you want.
Those two things can co-exist in the world.
At the beginning of the pandemic I recorded 4 episodes that talk about how our brain responds when events in the world seem to make everything else seem irrelevant. Those episodes are as relevant now as they were then, so I'm linking to them in the show notes at dinacataldo.com/196
If we truly placed our attention on all of the horrible things happening in the world, we would be paralyzed with suffering.
We must choose to take action where we want to, then place our attention on what we have the most power over: how we show up in the world every day for the people around us.
How we show up in the world creates a ripple effect in the people we contact whether it's in social media, on a podcast like this one, in our emails, in the conversations we choose to have at the office.
Remember that your attention is valuable.
Place your attention where you can have the largest impact, and you can't help but impact the world in the way you want to.
This is a great segue into this episode's topic, which is how to know whether you should go after what you want.
How do you know you should put your energy into creating that new practice area, to boosting your revenue, to change careers?
The first thing I want to clear up here is that this doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition.
Our brains often automatically say “NO” to whatever idea we have to go after a goal because it sees things very black and white.
You have an idea to do something new, then immediately your brain shuts it down because it doesn't want to lose a sure thing: your current revenue stream.
This happened to me years ago when I was thinking about leaving the law. My coach offered to me the possibility of changing the kind of law I practiced, and my brain immediately said, “No. I don't know how to practice another kind of law. That sounds impossible.” It seemed so true to me that I didn't realize that it was a thought. That that thought was optional. I could always learn a new kind of law. I could always at least research other areas of the law that may interest me. My brain wouldn't even let me do that.
It only allowed me to consider the familiar, which was to me starting an online business with a physical product. Back then I created a loose leaf tea business that was hand-blended all organic and sold online. It was something I could wrap my brain around easily. I had no conception of coaching as a potential path either even though I had a coach. My brain was frozen in the familiar.
This brain freeze where our brain is stuck in the familiar thoughts swirling in our head is a common theme I see when lawyers come to consult calls with me.
They have a dream, but they're so stuck in their familiar thoughts that they're afraid when they think about what they really want. They think it's not possible.
I had a lawyer tell me that she wanted to change the direction of her practice to include more immigration law because that's what she was passionate about. She had a lot of self-doubt about whether she should move forward because her brain told her that the men already practicing immigration law and her clients wouldn't take her seriously. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to make money and that she should throw her energy into the current practice that wasn't feeding her soul.
She looked at her self-doubt as a sign that it wasn't possible. I looked at her self-doubt as the opportunity to grow into the person she was meant to become.
She looked at the judgment of the other attorneys as a roadblock to her success. I looked at her thoughts that people were judging her as a tool to create more self-confidence.
She looked at money as a barrier between her and what she wanted. I saw her thoughts about money as evidence that she had room to grow into a more powerful version of herself who could continue her old practice while simultaneously growing a new practice brick-by-brick.
Our brain creates these obstacles not because it doesn't want you to have what you want but because it was designed to keep you safe. So if you feel scared or self-doubt, your brain is working exactly as it was designed to.
But it's an outdated program meant to keep us safe in times when we were being chased by tigers. That outdated programming also keep us in a cage.
Those feelings of self-doubt or fear or judgment aren't signs to lock ourselves up safe and sound in our cage. They're signs that we need to learn how to unlock our cage and be more free.
I had another lawyer that I work with tell me she wanted to grow her practice further. Her brain kept putting up obstacles telling her that she should do it later or that she couldn't afford a full time assistant. When we shed light on the obstacles, we could then strategize to overcome those obstacles.
Our brains don't strategize automatically. They just throw up obstacles.
Coaching is what helps create strategies to knock down obstacles one-by-one.
Instead of believing that obstacles mean stop, know that obstacles are a prerequisite to getting what you want. They're the sign that you need to keep going.
This is because those obstacles are the key to your growth not only as a lawyer but as a human.
Every obstacle is like an instruction telling you what you need to get what you want.
Obstacle 1: self-doubt
Oh, that's just an instruction telling me that I need to learn how to become more resilient and gain confidence
Obstacle 2: thoughts that I don't have enough time
Oh, that's just an instruction telling me that I need to learn time management skills.
Obstacle 3: I don't know what to do.
Oh, that's just an instruction telling me that I need to ask for help.
If you want to continue pushing your limits and grow into the version of yourself you want to become, that's what it takes.
If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably someone who wants to grow and expand and see what's possible for yourself.
If you're feeling doubt or worry or see yourself procrastinating on going after what you want, those are signs that you should go after it.
The only thing you'll be left with if you don't is regret.
When I decided that I was going to follow my fear where it took me, I grew into the person who could leave a 15 year career as a criminal prosecutor to coach lawyers full time. I didn't just jump ship from lawyering full time to coaching full time. I grew my coaching business while I was lawyering full time.
There were a ton of obstacles, but because I looked at them as opportunities for me to grow, I didn't stop. I was relentless.
I didn't know how to manage my time at first. So I experimented, and I learned what worked for me.
I didn't know how to market a business. So I hired people, and I learned.
I didn't know how to manage my brain around the pressure I created for myself and the over-working I was doing in my business. So I hired a coach, and I got help.
If you want something, go after it.
I look at it as our duty to go after what we want.
There are a lot of people in this world who wouldn't think twice about taking the opportunities that we have right now in this moment.
Don't hesitate because your brain throws up obstacles.
Look at them as your roadmap to getting what you want.
If you know you want help getting what you want, I can help you knock down your obstacles one-by-one.
Book a call with me at https://dinacataldo.com/strategysession
Now is the best time to get started going after what you want.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week.
I'm sending you lots of love wherever you are in the world.
Talk to you soon.
The mistake they make is seeing that fear as a sign to stop. It's actually a sign to keep moving forward.