Transcript: Brain Management with Dina Cataldo
Let's talk brain management, my friend.
We don't get a booklet that tells us how to use our brains.
We hear the phrase “common sense” thrown around a lot, but if there were such a thing as common sense, wouldn't it be more common? Wouldn't everyone agree on what needs to get done in the world much less a project at work?
There's no such thing as common sense.
There's only thoughts that are in each of our brains.
Some of those brains are managed and some of those brains aren't.
Sometimes other people agree with our thoughts, sometimes they don't.
Things are easy in our life when they're going our way.
It's when things aren't going our way that we need to pay attention to our Brain Management.
Today I'm going to break down this concept as it relates to your goals.
I'm going to talk more about Brain Management in the Calendar Masterclass for Lawyers that's happening this Saturday. If you're listening to this when the podcast comes out August 26th, 2021, then you definitely should sing up at dinacataldo.com/calendarmasterclass
I'm going to teach the three fundamentals of time management: identity change, brain management, and simple systems mindset.
You can probably tell that this Masterclass is going to go deep. This Masterclass is probably the deepest I've gone into the psychology of time management and achieving with ease, so you don't want to miss it.
You can get all the details and sign up at dinacataldo.com/calendarmasterclass
Alright, let's talk about brain management when things don't go our way.
Let's say it's Monday morning, and you get to the office.
You had your day all planned. Everything was as you expected, then someone comes into your office and drops a case on your desk, and they say it's due at the end of the day.
The person who hasn't learned brain management skills may spin out in ruminating on how this isn't fair, or how this isn't what should have happened, or how something has gone terribly wrong, or what the boss or client thinks of them.
The person who has brain management skills quickly reprioritizes. This is not a problem.
Or how about this?
You have the perfect romantic weekend planned with your partner. You have a great restaurant picked out. You know a great park you're going to walk to afterwards. Then your partner's mom says she's taking an unexpected trip and asks if she can stay with you. Your partner says yes without your input, and your mother-in-law is now going to dinner with you.
The person who hasn't fully developed their brain management skills quickly falls into stories like: she hates me, this isn't fair, my partner should have said no, I should have said no, this weekend is going to be awful.
The person who has developed them decides what she wants, asks for it, then decides to have her own back no matter what her decision is.
One more example that happened to me recently.
Let's say you're having a home improvement project. You get estimates, they do a walk through, they seem super nice, then they proceed to do the work without covering your new $3000 piece of workout equipment covering it with fine particles of dust. Then as you're cleaning it you cut your finger.
This challenged me. And I have developed some brain management skills over the years.
The person without any of these skills may blow their top at first sight of the dust and leave an immediate 1 star review on Yelp.
The person with brain management skills may be upset and even show it in the moment. But they quickly understand that the only thing that's happened is that their expectations have not been met. That they are having thoughts. That there is a solution. That everything will be okay. Then they take action from that place.
Some people want to say that we should “managing our expectations,” then we'll never be disappointed. That's a bunch of baloney. When we work from managing expectations, we settle and keep our sights low. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you have the highest expectations of yourself and what you're capable of, so we're not playing the managing expectations game.
We are action-takers. We don't settle.
I'd rather feel disappointment and all the fear that comes with going after what I want in my life than think that I tried to manage my expectations.
Feelings are our super power, and they are necessary if we want to manage our brain.
They help us understand what's going on in our brain, so we can manage what's going on in there.
When we feel overwhelm, we know that our brain is having trouble processing information. We can take a moment to see what's happening. Then we can re-orient ourselves to have more control: make a plan, simplify, delegate, prioritize.
When we feel disappointment, we know what's important to us. Then we can shift into the thoughts that will generate the feelings and actions we want to take to achieve what's important to us. This can open up conversations with people to help us get what we want.
When we feel anger, we see what our expectations are. When people don't meet our expectations, it doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. It means we have different expectations. In the case I talked to you about with the home improvement project, I had expectations that they would care about my things and my home. I spoke to the foreperson (thankfully after I'd had some time to process), and things were worked out.
We need to create this awareness, so that we can have information to use when we are managing our brain. Then we can use it to get more of what we want.
Don't want your mother-in-law at the restaurant. You can ask for what you want. You can also decide that her being there is not a problem.
Don't want to feel overwhelm. You can make things easy on yourself.
Don't want people damaging your stuff. You can make your concerns known in a way that is firm AND kind.
I help build this awareness with my clients in our sessions, so they can use this our in their day-to-day world when they're dealing with overwhelm, disappointment, anger, you name it. Managing our brain allows us to shift into more productive feelings that will help us create the results that we want.
If you listened to this, and you know you need an upgrade in your brain management skills to achieve the goals you have in your life, let's work together.
Book a call with me at dinacataldo.com/strategysession. This is the best work you can do for yourself. It's the best investment you can make in yourself and your mental health. Period.
Alright, my friend. I will talk to you next week.