Transcript: Committed Energy with Dina Cataldo
What's committed energy?
Why is having committed energy important?
When we don't have committed energy, we give up too soon on our goals. It's like the 49ers that gave up too soon digging for gold and stopped mining before striking gold.
When we don't have committed energy, we wish and dream, and when we don't get what we want on the timeline that we want or in the way we imagined it, we become frustrated and think we made the wrong decision. And beat ourselves up instead of taking action on our goals.
When we don't have committed energy, we allow the fears that we made the wrong decision, that we don't know enough, that we're not doing enough, that we aren't enough to spin us in our head and revel in procrastination instead of committing to what we want and getting it.
And some of us don't take action on our dreams at all because we haven't learned to generate committed energy.
We've committed to what we wanted before. We just forget that we have the ability to create committed energy on purpose.
In this episode I'm going to break down what committed energy is and is not.
You'll also learn how to generate committed energy.
Before we get started, I want to talk to you about this podcast.
First, did you know that non-lawyers listen to Be a Better Lawyer podcast? I get messages and emails from people who aren't lawyers who listen, and I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the non-lawyers in the house. Thank you for listening.
Second, I know that people are finding this podcast by word of mouth. I'm getting messages that a friend or a colleague told them about this podcast and they're loving it. If you haven't shared this podcast with a friend, I want to ask you do to so right now. Even if you have shared it with a friend, share it again. Whether it's a quick text, a DM or share on Instagram, or a short email to someone you think may enjoy it letting them know you were thinking of them.
If you're getting something from this podcast, then I know you know someone who'll get something from it too. It's good karma, right?
Thank you in advance for spreading the word about this podcast. And it makes my day when I get messages from you, so keep them coming. You can tag me in any of your shares on Instagram @dina.cataldo
Alright, let's talk about committed energy.
Let's start with what it's not:
– it's not being fearless
– it's not feeling stressed or overwhelmed
– it's not confidence
– it's not perfectionism
– it's not rational or logical
What is committed energy?
It's unrelenting certainty that you're going to reach your goal even if you don't know how.
It allows all the feelings to come. All the fear, doubt, disappointment and despair that you haven't reached your goal, and yet always brings you back to the certainty that you'll reach your goal.
It's being all in yourself despite the fear, doubt, disappointment and despair.
It's being scared that you're going to fail and doing the thing you want to do anyway.
It's being scared that you don't know what you're doing, and doing it anyway.
It's not wanting to do something, but doing it anyway because you know it's going to get you closer to your goal.
It's having your back every step of the way and being your biggest cheerleader for the smallest of wins.
I was inspired to talk about this after a drive I took to San Francisco this past weekend.
If you're not familiar with San Francisco, it is an incredibly hilly place. And we're not talking gently rolling hills. We're talking steep, straight up in the air hills when you're driving up and straight down into the abyss hills when you're driving down.
To be honest, the idea of going down the hills terrifies me. When I get to the edge of a street that is going to slope down, I freeze because I can't see the street under my wheels. My brain screams, “No, you're going to fall off the edge,” and I freak out. If you're listening, and you had some grand idea of who I am, you now know I”m a human with a human brain that doesn't always think thoughts that make sense.
I've driven through San Francisco for years, and I've intentionally avoided driving down hills so much so that I've upset other drivers by making strange turns in the middle of intersections.
So this past week-end, I knew exactly where I wanted to go and keyed in the GPS. As I'm following the GPS directions, I know a downward hill is inevitable because the GPS is leading me up hill after hill after hill. What comes up must come down.
I get to my street, and I'm being told I need to make a left.
Sure enough, I put my signal on, and there's a steep decline I have to go down to get to my street. I looked behind me, and there was someone right on my tail, and I couldn't avoid this steep hill going into the abyss. So this is what I did…
I slowly turned the wheel and started telling myself, “This is fun, this is fun, I'm totally having a good time, I'm doing this.” Kind of like how you put your hands in the air when you're on a roller coaster to have fun even though you're scared out of your mind.
Then I just went down the hill. When I got to the bottom of it, I was shaking. I was terrified, and I was elated. I was so proud of myself. I was talking about it all weekend about how awesome it was that I went down that hill. I didn't care how silly other people might think I sounded, I was going to savor that win. I'm still savoring it.
I was all in on that turn, and I was scared every step of the way while my brain told me I definitely was going to die. Then I patted myself on the back while I was still shivering from the adrenaline that pumped through my body. It was horrible and amazing at the same time. And I achieved my goal.
How does it show up for lawyers?
We use committed energy every day.
If you've ever got up and gone to the office when you didn't want to, you used committed energy to get your butt moving.
If you've every gone to the gym when you didn't want to, you've used committed energy.
But what happens when you don't see progress on your goals, and you want to give up?
What happens when the people around you aren't supportive of what you want, and you doubt yourself?
What happens when you tell yourself that you don't know how to get started?
What happens when you don't take any action towards your goals because you tell yourself you don't have enough time or enough money or enough energy to take action?
All those examples have something in common: they all involve telling yourself that your circumstances are creating your results instead of focussing on your thoughts to create results.
What do I mean?
Whatever circumstances we're facing, we're going to have thoughts about them.
Our thoughts create our feelings.
Our feelings fuel our actions.
Our actions create our results.
If we're not feeling committed, it's because we're having thoughts about our circumstances that aren't creating the fuel we need to generate the actions and results we want in our life.
Let's say you have the thought that you don't have enough time to work on your goals.
Is that true?
I know moms of 3 who are making multiple 6 figures and doing it without the overwhelm and while continuing to build their business.
I'm a full-time lawyer with a coaching business, a podcast, I take care of myself, work out regularly, and take care of a super needy dog and an aging parent.
I have clients who are building their practices while building an additional business and investing their time in boards.
I have clients who create time to get coached, take their kids to swim practice, and build their law practice, and take weekends off.
The true circumstance is that you have 24 hours in a day – that's a fact we can all agree on. It's not subjective.
Your thought is that you don't have enough time to work on your goals.
Your feeling is disappointment, maybe guilt
Those feelings only generate procrastination and buffering behaviors like eating, scrolling social media, maybe checking emails or working on less important projects.
Then of course you're creating the result that you don't have enough time to work on your goals. You're frittering your time away because you're having a thought. Not because you don't have time.
But let's say it's 100% true that you don't have enough time. Let's make that your circumstance.
What do you want to think about that? Do you want to think that it's true? Do you want that to dictate how you live or what you do with your life? What are you prepared to do about it?
The only way to change our results is to change our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change the feeling that fuels our actions. Sometimes we can do that by asking better questions.
In case you haven't picked up on this, I'm using the words feeling and energy interchangeably. Our feelings are energy.
Those of us who've struggled with this thought that we don't have enough time commonly have similar thoughts about money and energy. We're so focused on out thought that we're lacking time or money or energy that we act from circumstances and never change our result. Ask yourself, what are you prepared to do about it? Are you willing to do something completely different to break out of your circumstances, or do you want to stay where you are?
Because you do have a choice. You may not feel that right now, but we always have a choice.
When we start questioning our thoughts and asking these kinds of questions, we begin to shift our feelings – our energy.
That's the first step to creating committed energy.
How do we create committed energy all the time?
Committed energy can happen in an instant, or it could take time.
This is what committed energy looks like:
It's having your back even when you feel like a total failure. Having your back means being kind to yourself and not beating yourself up.
It's being kind to yourself even when you didn't do something you said you were going to do.
It's feeling defeated, knowing that's okay, then deciding to start again.
It's never giving up no matter the circumstances.
Even when you don't have enough time or enough money or enough energy to invest in what you want, you decide over and over that you're going to make choices that are uncomfortable and stretch you.
You'll take a step forward, then two steps back, then three steps forward, then one step back, but you're always re-committing to what you want.
It can look messy and scary and sometimes you'll feel exhilarated at your accomplishments. Then sometimes you'll feel disappointed, but always you come back to your goal because you know you're going to find a way.
Lots of different thoughts generate committed energy, but I'll give you a few of my favorites. Steal them if they resonate with you:
– I can do this.
– I can figure this out.
– It's working.
– It's happening.
– I'll figure this out.
– Everything is okay.
– Nothing has gone wrong.
– Let's try that again.
– I'm doing this.
Pick a couple that feel the most believable to you right now. The goal isn't to force your brain to believe something it doesn't. We just want to make a subtle shift that gets you taking more important actions towards your goals.
Before I go, I want to invite you to join me for a strategy session. If this work resonates with you, coaching may be just what you need to take your results to the next level. Go to dinacataldo.com and click on the work with me tab.
Most people don't do this kind of work. They don't examine what's going on in their mind that's impacting their life. The fact that you've found this podcast tells me that you want to grow. Coaching can help you do that.
Alright, my friend, I'll talk to you next week.