Transcript: Why Coaching Gets Results
Hello. Hello. How are you doing today? I hope your day is going really well. I had a really nice day. It is Sunday evening when I'm recording this and the weather was lovely here in Sacramento and I got to go out with my mom out to brunch and grab some time at an estate sale and a yard sale, which is something that I like to do when I have the opportunity. And if you're on my Instagram stories, then you got to see what was going on there. If that's something that you do when you go on Instagram, you can find me @dina.cataldo and you can see my insta stories, which I've been told are really fun. So go there. All right. So today I want to talk about coaching and I want to talk to you about why coaching creates results. And it's really kind of funny for me to talk about this because I'm around so many people who are coaches who are getting coaching, who have experienced coaching.
And I think that there are of course, more people who don't have coaches than do, but I lose perspective because of the world that I'm now spending a lot of time in. So what I wanted to do was get into a conversation with you about why coaching creates results, what coaching really is, and what do you even do when you're getting a coaching session? Like how does that even go down? What kind of questions are asked, what kind of things are going on in these coaching sessions to actually create the results that you want to have and is coaching something that you should be doing? And I have a spoiler for you. I think every single person should have a coach. So I will let you know that right now. But what I really want to focus on is getting clear on what coaching's all about and what you do in these coaching sessions.
Before we dive in, I want to invite lawyers over to my masterclass for lawyers. It's called seven non-techie secrets for a smoother legal practice. I'm really gonna dive into even more of what we talk about today in this episode and really get particular about how it can impact lawyers and their legal practices when they implement what we're talking about. So go to Dinacataldo.com/masterclass to register. It's totally free and at the end of that masterclass I'm going to invite you to join me for the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap.
It is now open for enrollment and when you join the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap with me, it's a group coaching program. So there's a couple of different kinds of coaching. There's one on one coaching where you're having a conversation with just one coach. It's just one on one.
And then there's group coaching where you get the benefit of other people who have other questions, who are speaking up and you do live conferencing calls and you can hear one person being coached at a time and see how it all plays out and you can apply what you're learning to your life because every single person has an issue that you can then look at and then turn around into your life. And in particular, the reason I created this group coaching program, it's a whole membership site and I actually created a bonus episode talking more about the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap. So you can download that if you want to listen to that. But when you join the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap, it's actually even more than just the coaching live. There are training videos and PDFs that really help you dig deep into what's going on in your life, what kind of things and stories that you've had where you can really start opening up and creating bigger and better results in your life.
And we're going to talk a little bit about how that coaching really works, how that really goes down.
So why do we need coaching in the first place? Over the years, we've picked up beliefs. These have been picked up when we were young. We had parents who put in beliefs in our head just because they were taught certain beliefs. And so whether those were good or bad, it doesn't really matter. What matters is, is that we've retained them and we never really had the opportunity when we were young too logic our way through them. It's not as if we took those beliefs and decided that those reliefs were good for me or bad for me that I wanted those beliefs or not. They were really just downloaded into our hard drive of our brain. And then we started creating our life surrounding those beliefs, right? So we start falling into these patterns and that really becomes our identity.
Every time we create something in our lives, it's based upon these thoughts that we have. So those habits that people fall into that you can see other people fall into, right? Like you are dating the same person over and over again and you wonder, why am I dating the same person over and over again? It's because you have downloaded, when you were young, some beliefs that didn't serve you and now they're playing themselves out and repeated patterns over and over again. Or if you are doing anything else, like you are overeating and you see it play out all the time and you know you don't want to overeat and you feel yourself gaining weight, you are repeating patterns that have been downloaded into your brain and you're just repeating them over and over again. It's become part of your identity. And our brain really isn't designed for success.
Our brain isn't designed to just create, you know, whatever it is we want. It wants survival. Okay? So it wants to feel comfort. It wants to feel that sense that everything is going to be safe. So what our job is is to actually get uncomfortable to start creating the results that we want. Because otherwise we're just going to keep repeating the same patterns over and over and over again, rather than creating something new in our life. Something that we know is going to serve us better and not only that, but coaching is going to help us download these new beliefs and it takes time. So it's not an overnight process and that's what a coach really helps you with is help you see over and over again where you can start incorporating these beliefs into a new identity and create that new identity and then you're actually working from that new identity to create new results.
That's why this is so powerful when we really do that work. Now what I notice, and this was with me too, is that I didn't really know that I needed coaching. Like it wasn't something like I was like, oh, I should get a goat. I just knew something was off. I knew that there was something more that I wanted to do, that there was something that kind of felt incomplete in my life and I wasn't sure what it was and that was just something that I had to start seeking out answers. So I went to different self-improvement events. I read tons of books I, you know, kept reading over and over about coaches and what they could do for you. And I thought, okay, well, I mean obviously I'm not creating the result I want in my life. I don't feel the way I want to feel.
I just don't feel the joy, the passion, the excitement that I think I should be feeling, you know? And so I started coaching and that really helped me explore some of the feelings that I had and a much more manageable way in a way that was more structured in a way I had never actually considered doing myself before. And that's why I think coaching was so powerful for me because it opened up my brain to these new things, these new ways of being that I'd never thought of before. And I'd never actually considered that I could be living something bigger and better. I really could do it. Like there was something there, a plan, or I could start training my brain to actually start doing things differently to begin feeling differently. And one of my favorite phrases is from one of my online mentors, James Wedmore, and he says,
‘What got you here, won't get you there.”
Those are really powerful words. If you really take a moment to hear them, got you here, won't get you there. All of the things that we've learned over the years, all of the thoughts that we've thought over the years, the 60,000 thoughts a day that we have, all of the things that we've done as a reflection of those thoughts, they are not going to get us somewhere new and different. They're going to keep us in the same place we've always been. We're not going to be making the progress we want to make. We're not going to create the life that we want to make. We're not going to have the relationships that we want to have if we're working from the exact same thoughts that we've already been preprogrammed to have and we've been doing that for years. What coaching does and what any thought work does is really start opening your eyes to different ways of being, different ways of thinking so that you can get to that next level so that you can create that life you love.
Whether it is getting healthy by losing weight or whether it is creating more abundance in your finances or it structuring a business, whatever it is that is something that can be helpful to have a coach to help you walk through how you can start getting the thoughts, creating the thoughts to then get the results that you want. So the first thing that coaching really does is show your mind to you. So one of the things we've talked about on this podcast is how we are not our thoughts. We can actually observe our thoughts and that's how we know that. And one of the awesome things about doing this kind of work is to recognize our thoughts and then to recognize when they're not serving us. And then I'm going to take you through step by step in this podcast, how we can actually start taking a thought cycle.
I'm going to explain what that is and reverse it so that way we can actually create an intentional thought cycle that will help us get the results that we want. And if you are a lawyer, I encourage you to sign up for my master class because we walked through a similar process there specifically designed for things that lawyers go through. Okay? So I want you to know that all of our results come from our thoughts. We have all these stories in our head, all these thoughts about things that are holding us back from moving forward. And those are just stories. I want you to see that those are stories that hold you back and that are creating the results that you're getting right now. And they also are just reflections of those patterns, right? Those patterns that have already been hardwired in us. Now, a coach really helps you to ask questions to get at the answers you already have inside you.
You already know exactly what you need to do. A coach just helps you see it. And that is something that is really in alignment with so much that I've learned over the last decade with everything that I have done. The answers are always inside of you, but we don't always have the resources to get at those answers. We don't have always have the state of mind to get there. And so part of what a coach's job is to be a mirror for you so that you can start seeing your thoughts and you can understand how those are impacting your life. And they really help you to separate yourself from your thoughts. You get an objective view and they help you really sit with your feelings, start to recognize your feelings. So sometimes when you are in a coaching session, you know, like when I ask somebody, so what do you want to talk about today?
Someone will just start talking. They don't really even know what it is they want to talk about, but then they'll have something on their mind. There's always something to talk about. There's always something that's going on in their lives that's causing some kind of stress or disconnect in their lives. Something doesn't feel right, and the conversation naturally flows to that and then I just start asking questions. I said, okay, well this is what I'm hearing, so how does having that thought make you feel? And so we really start talking about it and I let them come up with the word. I want to know exactly how they're feeling because that's going to impact everything else that we talk about. And so sometimes there will be uncomfortable silences and I've experienced this when I've been coached where the coach is just waiting for me to come up with an answer.
Inevitably I come up with an answer and it's because there's that uncomfortable silence. It's because that coach has given me the opportunity to really dig into myself and figure out, okay, what is it that I'm feeling? Why do I feel this way? What thought am I having that's creating this feeling? So when a coach asks me a question and lets me sit with it, I feel like that's a really big gift. Another thing that I love about coaching is that once you see what thoughts and feelings you have that are creating your results, a coach can really help you create a new thought cycle to help you create the results that you want. So I go into this into the master class and I take you really in detail in this, in the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap, and of course, any of my one on one coaching clients, okay?
I just want you to know that it doesn't just stop at, “okay, I recognize how I'm thinking and feeling and why I'm creating the results in my life.” We actually start to help you dig in so that you can then find out what you can do to begin creating different results in your life and specifically creating a new identity for yourself. Because remember, you've been working from that identity forever, right? The same identity that you have right now. You can shift that identity to create different results in the future. And that is a process that's not something like you, you know, snap your fingers and suddenly you have a different thought. And of course now everything's going to be different in my life. So that's not how it works. This is a practice and it's something that when you are really conscious about this practice and you're diligent about it, then you will see huge results.
So let me walk you through an unintentional thought cycle. I'm going to use the evidence, the facts of a to do list. Okay? We all have to do lists. We all have something that has been on our mind. Maybe we wake up in the morning and we already feel behind, right? Like we just have so much to do. So the first thought that usually happens from my experience is the thought. I can't get it all done. And the feeling that comes from that Bot because our thoughts are really generating our feelings is the feeling of overwhelmed. Now there's a whole neurological process that's going on here. So when something exists in the world, there's a fact in the world, right? You have to do list. Everyone can agree on that. 12 people on a jury could all say yes. You have a to do list.
The thing that our brain does is it then has a thought about that thing in the world. And when we have a thought that starts triggering little neurotransmitters in our brain and it starts releasing chemicals in our body, and those chemicals are what's creating the feelings, the vibration that's going through our body. So when you feel that feeling, it's going to result in actions being taken. Or in this case in action, when I have this particular thought, I can't get it all done. I feel overwhelmed, I freeze, I don't get much of anything done. So the result is I don't get much of anything done and that result reinforces my thought that I can't get it all done. So I'm in this cycle, I'm in this behavioral pattern based on the identity that I have. It's this habit that I have of thinking about something in the world.
And I go through this thought cycle over and over again. But what happens when you're being coached? You get to create an intentional thought cycle. You get to really see how just changing one thing in that cycle can help you create something amazing in your life. So this is just a really small example, but we'll just use this here. Think about the result that you want. You have a to-do list. What's the result you want? You want to get the most important items on your list done. You want to get everything done maybe. So the actions that you have to take to get that result, and we're working backwards here, is to schedule the stick to your schedule to cut out the distractions. What's the feeling then that you have to generate in order to do those actions? Well, the feeling that I would need is committed.
That is something I need to feel to get everything done. I feel committed that I'm going to do it all. And then the thought that creates that feeling for me is I can do this. Now that might be a different thought for you. It's going to be a different thought for everyone. But what you're looking for is a thought that generates that feeling and you'll know it when you feel it because it's gonna resonate with you. So once you start seeing when you generate a new thought that you can actually create a different result, then you can start doing the work of impacting your identity. So the key after this is really to begin that work and that's what I show people when I coach them one on one and when I coached them in the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap, I show them the processes to actually begin incorporating this into their identity.
Now if you want to join me in the masterclass for lawyers, it's going on for a short time. Dina cataldo.com forward slash masterclass and I'm also sharing more about this process and more about the Lawyer's Soul Roadmap. If you're not being coached, you're missing out on the amazing changes that are possible in your life. I really do believe that coaching is a gift. I do believe that we can create more in our life that we love when we are conscious creators, when we are really thinking about how we show up in the world, how we can really begin behaving the way we want to behave in this world and begin shifting our identity to that person. And you know, this kind of work. I mean there's so many people out there that I see that I admire, that I know are doing this work. And when you start experiencing it yourself, you're a believer.
Like you're just, you just know that, hey, I want to be coached. I want to feel that difference in my life every single day. And I do this kind of thought work every single day. It's not as if suddenly you are coached on one issue and all your issues go away. It's a process and it's such an amazing thing to go through and to really see and feel your emotions change from one thought cycle and unintentional one and then create the intentional model that you really, I really want to feel in your body. So remember what got you here won't get you there. I hope to see you soon, my friend. I will talk to you next week. Bye.